Tag: resistance

  • ‘ext Before ‘ent, Please

    ‘ext Before ‘ent, Please

    For the sake of speed at work and home, we tend to concentrate on content: who’s doing what and how & when they are doing it. But, oh wow, does this generate resistance! People will actively or passively fight over these details. They fight mostly because they have no ways or means to agree. Our […]

  • Powerful Leaders vs. Forceful Leaders

    Powerful Leaders vs. Forceful Leaders

    We tend to confuse power with force. Force makes things happen or makes people do what we want. Force generates and must constantly counter resistance. Force drains. Power is clarity about and alignment of our purposes. With power, the right things get done with ease. There is no force in power. Power sustains. We want…

  • Beliefs that Kill Leadership

    Beliefs that Kill Leadership

    Here are three common beliefs that kill leadership dead. Believing “Because I said so” is a valid move. Overvaluing the title leads to resentment, resistance, and, at best, grudging compliance. Believing “It’s just business.” There is never an excuse for judgment or disrespect. Win-win works better every time. Believing “My value is in what I…

  • How to Know Your Edge

    How to Know Your Edge

    Our edge is the border between what we know–including what we are comfortable with and what we are competent at–and what we don’t know. All new, good things in our lives come when we expand past our edge. How do we know we are at our edge? We feel bad. Some part of us wants move past our edge and another part of us is resisting. The…

  • Good Leaders Expose Rather Than Impose

    Here is the fundamental conflict in leadership. People universally resist being told what to do. We, as leaders (with or without titles), feel we are on the hook so we regularly tell people what to do. We can try various tactics to disguise our “telling” and they will have many creative ways to resist. Regardless,…

  • The Problem with Being Right

    The Problem with Being Right

    Here’s something that gets in our way. We frequently think that, if only we detail things enough, explain it all just so, show them the data and the logic, or add enough energy and excitement to it then they will see, agree, and act. We want to be nice about it, of course. But, secretly,…

  • Why We Cannot Afford to Judge

    Why We Cannot Afford to Judge

    As leaders (with or without title), influencers, and sales people, we cannot afford to judge others. Not at all. To judge another, we necessarily pretend that we are special, more deserving, better. Others will sense this in us and find (oh so) many ways to resist, unconsciously if not consciously. That resistance, left unchecked, kills…

  • Ask Them

    Ask Them

    Other people can be quite frustrating. Since they don’t want to be told what to do or think, how can we possibly lead,  sell, or influence people to see things or do things in a new way? Simple. Start asking questions. Not as an interrogator, mind you. Be curious and caring. Ask them what they…

  • Over-communicate Your Win-Win Intent

    Over-communicate Your Win-Win Intent

    When you notice another person resisting you–actively or passively–it could be because they are not convinced that you are committed to a win-win approach. They smell a “lose.” If you recognize you are not committed to win-win, then make the commitment. If you really are committed to win-win, then over-communicate that intent to the other…

  • Make It Happen

    Make It Happen

    We, as leaders (with or without title), want results. Yet we suffer when we try to make things happen. If we try to drive things, control things, or otherwise push to make things happen, we typically succeed only in generating resistance from the people involved. We see small wins that end up unsustainable, opportunities lost,…