Others’ Behavior
We spend way too much time and energy trying to get others to behave so that we feel better. Far better is to find a way to feel good ourselves then watch as the world syncs up with that buzz. In your corner, Mike
Tag: influence
Getting Others to See It Your Way
To get others to see things our way, we can try being louder, more energetic, more logical, more polite, or more correct. Or (and this is much faster) we can first demonstrate to their satisfaction that we understand their way of seeing it. In your corner, Mike Today’s photo credit: jimsheaffer Disco Ball […]
Why Getting Our Way Is Worse Than We Think
We have generally two ways to get others to do what we want. We can use “get my way” methods or we can go for win-win. Though we might not like to admit it, we all have our “get my way” methods. We use these mostly under stress and often without knowing it. Common ones […]
How to Be Well Rewarded
Most people don’t know what they want. And if they do, they probably don’t know how to get it. That’s how we can help them. We, the noble leaders, sellers, and influencers are committed to win-win. We know the process. And we are good at running the process: connecting, listening, & exploring, suggesting & negotiating […]
We Have a Manipulation Problem
We have a manipulation problem. We don’t want to manipulate or be manipulated. But we all want to get various and sundry people to do what we want. So we tie ourselves in knots trying to get people to do stuff without even seeming manipulative. But what if we could convince others in ways that they benefit? And […]
Why Pushing Your Solution Isn’t The Solution
Push your solution and you may get it. If you do, it likely will fail to be as good as it could have been. This is true because your solution will miss important things that others know and because others will naturally (if sometimes subtly, as when people maliciously comply) resist anything they haven’t had […]
The Right-Wrong Trap
We fall into the Right-Wrong Trap whenever we try to convince someone we are right. If we fall into this trap, we will have a very difficult time leading, selling, and influencing. The Right-Wrong Trap proves that leading, selling, and influencing are not at all about the facts, the merits of our argument, or the […]
The Natural Flow Toward Agreement
There is a natural flow of any leadership, sales, or influencing conversation toward agreement. And we can either go with that flow or against it. Going against the flow looks like us having the answers already, deciding, telling, yelling, demanding, pleading, or complaining. When we go against the flow, we get to the end zone […]
A Story
There was once a band of smart, dedicated, caring, and simply successful people. Some of them lived in Toronto. The rest were scattered around the globe. Though they didn’t really know each other, each one had guessed that they shared something in common with the others. Take for instance Kimberly. Every morning, she would sit […]
The Secret Ingredient
Before we direct, correct, encourage, sell to, influence, plead with, or praise people, let’s take a moment to quietly love them. If we can’t love them, let’s appreciate them. We can find even some small aspect about who they are that we honestly appreciate. It takes a minute or two before a meeting. With practice, we can do it […]