Show Me That You Hear Me

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We

Here’s a great way to drain away the drama that distracts and upsets us at work and in life: demonstrate that we understand their perspective. “This is what I heard you say. Did I get that right?” Then ask that they hear ours. Here’s a great way to prolong the drama: try to outwit, out […]

The Value of Value

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Hiring, Leading, We, Well

Hire this person who has the experience or wait to find someone who fits our culture? Discount out of fear that this client will leave or hold out for clients who appreciate and pay for our value? If we make decisions for expediency and against our values, we give away the value of our values. […]

Where the Really Good Solutions Are Hiding

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We

Most of the conflicts we see in the news and in our businesses are silly and wasteful.  Stuck in our positions, we snipe, grouse, and power-struggle. No solutions (especially those belonging to others) are good enough. We can easily lose faith in our ability to make progress. This and all conflict melts away when we […]

At Each Others’ Throats

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We

For the most part, we can all agree about the symptoms of a problem (say, the volume of traffic at rush hour or a spike in complaints from our clients). With some coaxing, we can all agree about the pain the problem causes. But it’s too easy to be (actively or passively) at each others’ throats when we discuss why […]

Getting People to Listen

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We

“Here’s what you need to do…” People will resist our ideas and never change (or they might maliciously comply) when we start with us, our positions, and our reasons. People will listen to our ideas and (potentially) change their minds when we start with them. Starting with them includes respecting them, their ideas, and their absolute […]

By When?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do, We

“By when can you get that done?” If we ask people to get something done, it may get done. If we ask them if they can get it done by a certain date, they may negotiate the date. And they will more likely get it done on time, as promised. If someone has asked us […]

too much

Too Much Email, Too Many Meetings

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do, We

Meetings and emails can certainly overwhelm us. Each one represents another request–or twelve!–to do something. How can this keep going? How can we possibly get everything done? Our job is not to get it all done. We are neither supposed to answer every email nor attend every meeting. We cannot possibly satisfy every request. We […]