Here’s a great way to drain away the drama that distracts and upsets us at work and in life: demonstrate that we understand their perspective. “This is what I heard you say. Did I get that right?” Then ask that they hear ours. Here’s a great way to prolong the drama: try to outwit, out […]
Most of the tools in our leadership toolkits are worthless unless the people on our team want to be led. Most of our influencing tools are pointless until our would-be collaborators agree to be influenced. And we can keep most every sales tool locked away while the people we wish to sell to aren’t ready […]
Having difficulty getting others to see your point of view? Start by demonstrating that you understand theirs. Having difficulty demonstrating that you understand their point of view? Start by asking them about it. When people know you have understood them, they quite naturally open to understanding you. In your corner, Mike Today’s photo credit: […]
To get others to see things our way, we can try being louder, more energetic, more logical, more polite, or more correct. Or (and this is much faster) we can first demonstrate to their satisfaction that we understand their way of seeing it. In your corner, Mike Today’s photo credit: jimsheaffer Disco Ball […]
Other people’s perspectives can either open new possibilities or merely add confusion. Mostly, we get to choose which it will be. And they get to choose how long they will remain engaged and keep contributing. In your corner, Mike PS: And if we all remain open enough, we can listen more deeply, unearth stuck-but-silly […]
We want to converse plainly, honestly, and respectfully. We want the others to say what’s on their mind. We want them to give us the same courtesy and let us say what’s on our mind. Then we want to work toward win-win solutions based on our new understanding of each other’s perspective. But sometimes, they […]
In an interview, in a sale, when working with colleagues, or when leading others, we best start by understanding what our counterparts need, want, and desire. Then we can explore with them how our talents, products, services, ideas, and requests serve those needs etc. Our first steps are to ask open-ended questions about what they want and why. Then […]
To lead, influence, or sell well, we must know details about the issues, problems, or opportunities the other person faces. What does it look like? How do you measure it? Who else is involved? Why is this important now? Where does this come from? By when do you need to make a decision? But we may […]
We have a manipulation problem. We don’t want to manipulate or be manipulated. But we all want to get various and sundry people to do what we want. So we tie ourselves in knots trying to get people to do stuff without even seeming manipulative. But what if we could convince others in ways that they benefit? And […]
Sometimes trying to get others to do the things we know they need to do (because it’s their job or it’s for their own good) can be like beating our heads against a brick wall. We try telling, selling, and yelling but they just don’t listen. They don’t because no one wants to be told […]