Whenever any goal consistently remains out of reach, resilient habits of thought may be the problem.
resile v.i. To start back; to recoil to recede from a purpose.
We resile when we don’t want to consider a topic, idea, or situation. Resiling is a helpful habit we establish, usually when we are young, to avoid something we’d rather not face. It is helpful, that is, until it gets in the way of our success.
We compromise our business and life success by resiling from something that pains us. For fear of rejection, criticism, uncertainty, obstruction, or other perceived harms, we devote untold energy creating clever though inefficient alternate routes. More success awaits us if we can stop resiling.
For example, a client of mine spent years devising strategies to market his business. None of them worked well; most of them involved portraying his company as something other than it was. Every time he encountered a marketing strategy that could work for him, he would reject it without much consideration. Pausing to notice, he saw that his resilient habit was to avoid even thinking about any situation where he might be evaluated as “less than” some other person.
Though he happened to learn the underlying logic of his resiling, we need not excavate; we do not need to understand any of the details or causes. A simple acknowledgement and choice are all we will need. Try this:
- Wherever you are plateaued or stuck in business or life, ask yourself, “What is it I do not want to consider?” Notice your emotional reactions. You may notice a bad feeling. You may know what that bad feeling is about. Or you may catch yourself resiling: the bad feeling numbs quickly and you are left without any explanation. Either is fine.
- Acknowledge to yourself this resilient thought habit. “From the discomfort and regardless of the cause, I see that I am clearly thinking about something I do not want.”
- Choose what you want. “What do I really want now?”
In the example above, my client chose a successful marketing plan that resonated with him, his company, and his clients.
I smell a breakthrough coming for you, too.
In your corner,
Mike