Let’s say there is something in your business or career that is not working. And let’s say you have thought of or tried everything without seeing the results you want. It’s as if you’ve hit a wall and cannot find a way around or over it.
Five will get you twenty, it is not your business plan; it is not your career plan.
It is you.
Whenever you are struggling, it is how you see yourself and how you see the world that are at odds with the success you want. These ways of seeing things are so ingrained that you may not even notice them. And when you do notice them, you think they are part of who you are; you resist mightily any attempt to change them. These ways or beliefs were taught to you and were once useful to you. You may still see them as the secret sauce in your success recipe because they had helped you so well in the past. Holding on to them tightly–even after they have stopped working for you–you hit the wall.
What do you really need to do? You need to change who you think you are (which will lead you to change how you think the world is).
Not to worry, though. Odd as it may sound, a part of you already knows what you need to be. The rest of you thinks you are not ready and is in fear. The good news is that because you hit the wall, you are ready.
Exercise: Quietly ask yourself this question: “Who do I need to be in order to have the success I seek?” Be willing to be surprised by your answer. Write down your answer. Then ask, “If I were to become this, how might I do it? If my friend wanted to become this, what would advise?” Write down your answers to these questions. If you answered, “I don’t know,” to any of these questions, then try setting the exercise aside and coming back to it in a day or two. Or reach out to me or another friend.
In your corner,
PS: It is also not your marketing, sales, strategy, or operations. It is not your networking, resume, or interviewing skills. It’s not the economy, competition, …
PPS: Some common examples of these “wall hitting” beliefs include
- “I am not a salesperson.”
- “Life is harsh, chaotic.”
- “Business is war.”
- “I am not good at X.”
- “I am not allowed to have what I want.”
- “No one wants what I have to offer.”
- “Money is scarce.”
- “Money is bad.”
- “Poverty is good. I want to be good.”
- “I do not deserve.”
- “Hard work is the only way.”
- “With enough data or assurance from others, I can be secure then act.”
- “I am lazy.”
- “Life is a competition. Get before others get.”
- “No one can tell me what to do.”
- “I am not a leader.”
- “You’ve gotta push to get what you want from others, from life.”
- “I am threatened, alone, weak, ignorant, ugly, graceless, an impostor…”
- “I cannot stand out. I am not special.”
PPPS: The very good news is that none of those things are true, really.
This one was a “forward-er”. I sent it around to all my colleagues since it provokes much thought. I can see a few of my own excuses in the list – thanks for the continued insight. 🙂
Thank you, Diane. I see my excuses, too. 🙂
This one really spoke to me. Thanks 🙂
p.s. Your p.s. made me think of Obama’s speech: “…we don’t think that government is the source of all our problems – any more than are welfare recipients, or corporations, or unions, or immigrants, or gays, or any other group we’re told to blame for our troubles.” How easy to point a finger at something or someone to blame for our problems or roadblocks.
Good point. Maybe we can say, “If you notice yourself pointing a finger, pause and ask yourself, ‘How do my perspectives contribute to the problem?'”