How to Argue or Negotiate by Listening
In an argument or negotiation, we often resist hearing the other person’s point of view. We are too busy formulating our responses. And we fear …
Use The Opposite of Lack
Maintaining our focus on the lack of something–anything–prolongs the lack. We know this. We see how we get tangled up in our thoughts and feelings. …
Cauterizing Relationships?
Nothing personal. It’s (just) business. The ends justify the means. Sometimes you need to break some eggs. I’ll get you or I’ll run away before …
The Moment We Choose to Become Leaders
Observe the impact of your interactions as a leader (with or without title). Wherever we see more of the right stuff getting done with ease, …
Real Change
Real change–the change we need to make to (finally) get what we’ve been seeking–is really uncomfortable. It can seem so horribly uncomfortable that we will …
Presenting Problems
Doctors and others in the helping professions know to take presenting problems (“My arm hurts, Doc.”) and presenting solutions (“I need a prescription.”) with a …
Life Becomes Easier, That’s Why
Let’s be present. Presence means neither regretting the past nor worrying about the future. It means not trying to control things. It means accepting what’s …
When to Double Up on Communication
When we as leaders fail to overcommunicate our intent, goals, progress, values, issues, and dreams, we leave a giant void that others are left to …
Why Anticipate Success
The sages tell us that we get what we focus on. That means that focusing on a problem has an odd but reliable way of …
I Have Been Thinking…
It happens all the time. We finish a conversation and (often much) later think of a better way we could have listened, empathized, queried, coached, …