A good chunk of our lives is irrational. Many of our (mostly habitual) thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors come from the fears (or, more accurately, the fear of fears) that we’ve held since we were very young. This is part of the inheritance we all share as humans.
So we can’t expect ourselves and each other to be always rational. We have blind spots, biases, defenses (sometimes in the form of an offense), masks, and quirks. We will do things that don’t make sense.
When we encounter this irrationality in ourselves or others, we cannot criticize, reason, or push. That way only triggers more defensiveness. Nor do we have to ignore or live with any irrationality that’s not helpful.
What we can do is listen, quietly see and acknowledge our common humanity, and (as quietly as is appropriate) shine love. This way opens doors, melts defenses, and allows us to create win-win, rational solutions.
In your corner,