Most of us would say we want more–more money, more time, more love, more ease, more health. That’s fine. And there really isn’t that much standing between us and having it. The problem is that we misuse the best tool available to us for having what we want: our thinking. Here are the top 3 thoughts that keep away whatever “more” we want:
- “It is bad to want or have it.” If we think that it’s bad, how can we ever allow it into our lives? This thought sometimes takes the form of humility: “If I have it and others don’t, that wouldn’t be fair; so I won’t have it.” The funny thing is that we cannot help others by being poorer, lonelier, busier, or sicker. We can do a better job helping others by filling our lives–even just a bit at a time–before trying to help others. Yes, think of the airplane safety instructions: put on your mask first.
- “There is something wrong with me, others, or the world that keeps me from having it.” When we think (complain) about things like our unworthiness, their greed, or the limited available resources, we are saying that we can’t have what we want due to something being broken. Nothing’s that broken, mes amis.
- “Having it means I’d have to change my idea of who I am.” This one is the most insidious and most powerful. We care very deeply about our identity. If we can find a way to be the people who have and enjoy what we want, then we will have tapped a huge source of success.
The clue to changing these three thoughts is how they feel to think them. They all feel awful. We should feel good. Find a way of replacing the bad-feeling thoughts with good-feeling ones. Try flipping, “this is me”, or the ladder.
In your corner,