The Flip

The Flip is an unexpectedly effective tool you can use to feel good before you act. (See Effectiveness Habit #2: Feel Good. Then Act.) When you notice that you are not feeling good (tension, weightiness, or exhaustion felt in chest, gut, limbs, back, neck etc.) follow these steps.

  1. Note it. “I am feeling________. I’m thinking about something I do not want.” Feeling bad is a signal that you are focusing on something you don’t want.
  2. Flip it. “So, what do I want?”
  3. Stay open. Be willing to be surprised by your answer to #2. It may take 20 seconds or so to get your answer.
  4. Enjoy. “Ahhhhhhh.” Odd as it may sound, your thought(s) about what you want will feel better that the thoughts about what you don’t want.
  5. Act. Now do what you are newly inspired to do from this better-feeling point of view.

Example: Worrying about an uncomfortable conversation with a peer. Note: The Flip tool works even though I may not know why I’m feeling bad when I start.

  1. “I am feeling tense in my gut. I must be thinking about something I do not want.”
  2. “So, what do I want?”
  3. “Hmmm.” And after a pause, “I want to feel calm and prepared for my upcoming conversation.”
  4. “Yes, that feels better.”
  5. “OK, I’m going to draft my opening sentence and remember that conversations like this always seem to work out well.”

Simple, isn’t it? Too simple? Give it a try and tell me how you do.

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