People know how you feel about them. Even if you try to hide it. They can feel whether you respect and trust them or are going through the motions. And they will consistently respond to you according to how you judge them. If they sense disrespect or lack of trust, they will get defensive and your desired results will suffer.
Even if you don’t agree with another, you can invite them not to defend. Before any conversation–especially important ones–quietly say to yourself about the other person, “I see in you the same spark of life and desire for joy that I have.” Then have your conversation and watch what happens.
Odd? Uncomfortable? Touchy-feely? Not to worry; no one else will hear you.
Effective? You bet.
In your corner,
PS: Unsure whether you are respecting or disrespecting, trusting or not trusting someone? Are they at all defensive? Well, there you go.