The Great Threat and Epic Squeezing Off

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

We tend to squeeze ourselves off from the very things we want. It is as if, when we were young– very young, we looked out into the world and saw a Great Threat. Being so young we didn’t have the tools (reason, experience, EQ) we have now to handle what we saw. The Great Threat seemed so big and bad; we feared for our lives.

The Great Threat was slightly different for each of us and yet remarkably the same. We tended to see one or two of its faces and feared that we were what those faces represented: ignorance, poverty, ugliness, isolation, weakness, and chaos. Whenever we saw one of these threatening faces it felt terrifying.

We believed that the Great Threat was real. To cope best we could, we decided to squeeze off our perception and feeling. We thought, “If I don’t see it or feel it, I will survive.”

The good news is that it worked. We did survive. The bad news is that, in squeezing off as we did, we also squeezed off our ability to receive what we really want: knowledge, abundance, beauty, connection, power, and ease. Out of deep fear of getting or being what we don’t want, we have the habit of not feeling and having what we want today.

None of us are completely squeezed off. I don’t think it’s possible. And to the extent you are missing the success you want, you are probably squeezing off your ability to receive it.

Can we unsqueeze? Oh yeah! We’ll look at that tomorrow.

In your corner,

Mike

Fear or Love

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

There are two ways of thinking about anything.
You can look at it from the perspective of fear. Or you can look at it from the point of view of love. One feels bad and leaves you trying to figure out how to control things, make or prevent things from happening. The other feels good and leaves you quietly excited and curious about how it will all unfold.

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Yes, really. Anything.

They Struggle, Too

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1

One clue to working or conversing with almost anyone: despite appearances, they struggle and fear just like we all do. When we recognize this we open the doors to our compassion and formerly awkward, strained, or difficult conversations become easy.

In your corner,

Mike

Debugging Delegation

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Leading
Reading time: 3 min.

There are four reasons people fail to delegate when they should. They

  1. Fear doing it incorrectly. “I don’t know what to delegate or how to delegate. What if I screw it up?”
  2. Fear being the boss. “If I tell them what to do, then they’ll think I’m being a bossy know-it-all and that’s bad. I want to be their friend. I’ll just do it for them.”
  3. Fear loss of control. “When I give away work, it comes back wrong. No matter how many times I explain it, they don’t get it. I might as well do it myself.”
  4. Fear loss of value. “If I give away the work, then what would I do? How will I earn my keep?”

When we fail to delegate we deplete our own resources, waste the time, talent, and potential of the people around us, and leave undone all the important, strategic work that our roles require us to do.

If you or someone you know is taking on too much, is too busy, is not getting to the higher-level work, or is showing signs of exhaustion then these tips will help:

  1. You can learn to delegate well. Here is a good template for delegation that delivers results. Do budget some time to teach and to give feedback, coaching, and direction; the return on that investment is high. Start small, seek feedback, and keep practicing.
  2. You can be the boss. When you fret about whether people will like or respect you as you play the role of boss, you are focused on yourself. “Turn the camera” and focus on them. Ask yourself, “What do they need in order to be successful?” (Hints: clarity, focus, feedback, context, and coaching to know where they fit, what to do, how to do it, and how to improve over time.) They need you to delegate. As soon as you turn the camera toward them, you will find being the boss who serves their needs very natural, authentic, and meaningful.
  3. Your work is always very valuable. It is understandable that you might question your value if others are doing the work. From a very early age, we were judged on what we accomplish. “Did you do your homework? Did you practice your piano? Did you make your bed, brush your teeth, remember you coat?…” We learn to get stuff done, to value ourselves for what we get done, and to manage our time so that we can get stuff done.  When you become a leader, things change. We judge leaders differently. Leaders help others get stuff done, are valued for creating an environment so that others can get stuff done, and manage their time so they can be available to help others.

 

In your corner,

Mike