Proper Use of Planning

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do

Planning fails when we use it to control the future. Seeking to control the future comes from a distrust or fear about it. And it can’t be done. Planning works when we use it to prepare for the future. Anticipating a desired future with quiet excitement and taking sensible preceding steps are great ways to […]

fearful plate

Fear and Love

Posted Posted in Grows

At the base of everything we experience is fear and love. That’s it. That’s all. We are a bundled blend of these. We are heading toward more love and less fear. Fear impels a need to control actively (make stuff happen, attack) or passively (avoid, defend). Control is silly: things are way too complex to […]


The Monsters are Fake

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success

Like the monsters under the bed, all the things we fear are fake. Sure, we can stoke our fears into a roaring fire of yuck. And then we’ll (inconveniently) see all around us a reality that mirrors our fears. But we can just as easily douse our fears by raising our buzz. Raising our buzz […]


Three Ways to Sidestep Fear

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Grows

We fear the possibility of something negative happening more than the reality of something negative happening. If we notice ourselves fearing anything, we can Feel good (raise your buzz), then act instead of acting based on fears. Recall that we can handle anything that might happen, in the moment, should it happen. Ask ourselves, “Well, […]



Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do, Grows

When we don’t say what needs to be said, when we don’t do the thing that is right to do, when we don’t make that big change, when we hold back, distract ourselves, or go numb, we do so because we are terrified. Terror holds us away from what we want and blinds us to the […]


The Sort of Leader Who Gets People Unstuck

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence

People who don’t change can gum up our organizations and their careers. We try requesting, coaching, pleading, pushing, “carrotting and/or sticking,” or even jumping up and down. Yet people often remain stubbornly stuck. We may explain their stuckedness as some character flaw. But they really stay stuck out of fear (or fudwar). And they are unable to navigate that […]

road out

The Road Out

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Grows

All of us want to move away from fear and toward joy. We are pre-wired for it. Our problem is that we unwittingly believe that staying in fear is the way to joy. How did we get this way? We inherited it. We have inherited the habit of dwelling in the fear out of fear […]

parallel universes

Parallel Worlds

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Grows

What if there were parallel worlds? Science and science-fiction writers have explored the possibility. Occupying the same space as our own world, a parallel world could exist right next to us. We would never know it and could never reach it. We can imagine that in one world, things happen and the people live in […]

heart hand

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Grows

The sages have always said that there are just two emotions: love and fear. It’s helpful to see that these are two sides of the same coin. Love is what you feel whenever you are allowing and appreciating what you want. Fear is what you feel whenever you are holding yourself away from what you […]