Why We Don’t Fight

Fighting what we don’t want (at home, work, or in the world-at-large) only pushes people to fight back. Our energy gets drained and our effectiveness is muted. It’s so easy to fall into this trap. But let’s not.

Let’s instead redirect the energy we would have spent fighting to building what we do want. People will then jump in and help. This way our energy multiplies and our effectiveness soars.


In your corner,


PS: Yes, this works everywhere, always.


Today’s photo credit: Peder Sterll Boxing gloves via photopin (license)

2 thoughts on “Why We Don’t Fight

  1. Hi Maria,

    Thank you!

    The place to start is with the question, “What do I/we really want?” This is not as easy as it might sound. Often, we cloud our response to this question. We think of things we should want, things we think are possible, and reasons why what we really want are not possible. But if we let ourselves dream just a bit, we can come up with lots of things we do want. Heck, we can even start with the situation we’re tempted to fight. “We don’t like that, clearly. What do we want/like instead?” Gather a group of people to ask and answer these questions and you’ll likely be off to a great start.

    Keeping ourselves focused on building what we want is just a matter of discipline. If what we want is compelling enough, we can commit to building up the habit of building vs. fighting.

    As for books to read, there are so many. Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is good and useful. Edward de Bono’s “Handbook for the Positive Revolution” explains some of the “build it don’t fight it” manifesto. Jim Collins’ “Good to Great” and by Dave Logan and John King speak about the mechanics of building an organization that builds instead of fights.

    In your corner,


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