Fear of Conflict and Its Opposite

Our reaction to conflict falls somewhere on a scale from “strongly fearing conflict” to “eats conflict for breakfast.”

For those of us who are closer to the “fearing” side, we avoid conflict. Even the memory of that fear feels so awful that we build the habit of navigating around conflict rather than feel the fear.

For those of us who are closer to the “breakfast” side, it’s not that we love conflict. It’s that we really fear obstruction. (In this case, the opposite of conflict is obstruction.) The mere memory of the fear that we might be obstructed, overruled, or controlled causes us to adopt the habit of challenging and pushing, often with some amount of anger.

Interesting, thought: what we really fear is that we cannot handle the conflict or obstruction when it arises.

Let me step out on a limb here: For you, it’s a lie. You can so handle the conflict or obstruction, with aplomb, in the moment.

In your corner,

Mike

Today’s photo credit: Stéfan via photopin cc

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