There are at least two levers we can use to collaborate better with others: style and motivators.
We each have a behavioral style. When our styles differ, we can have mistrust, miscommunication, misunderstanding, and conflict. If we pause and briefly flex to the other person’s style, we can open doors to communication, understanding, collaboration, and trust. This is not difficult to do. The hardest part, actually, is remembering to do it.
We each have a set of motivators. Our motivators are our values. When our values differ, we can have even deeper mistrust, miscommunication, etc. If we pause, we can tune what we say to include both what we care about and what the other person cares about. This is also not difficult to do. The hardest part, though, is harder: we have to allow others to have their values.
In your corner,
PS: Yeah, you’re right. It is a big deal.