Still Complaining?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Complaint can never, ever solve whatever we are complaining about because it keeps us focused on what we don’t want. And so the solutions we need stay out of our reach.

Instead of complaining, we can choose to focus on what we want. This puts us right in the path of the solutions, connections, and other good ideas we need to get what we want.

Focus less on what is wrong now. Instead, use the things you don’t want as a jumping off point. From there focus much more, good leader, on what you want to become true.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: kaibara87 Fry complaining via photopin (license)

We Can Always

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Uncategorized
Reading time: 1

When faced with big or continuous obstacles, we can say,

  • “I can’t,”
  • “This is impossible,”
  • “That’s not the right process,”
  • “There’s something wrong with me/you/them/it,”
  • “Maybe someone else will figure it out.”
  • “It’s not my fault.”
  • “You can’t make me.”
  • “You gotta take the bull by the horns,”
  • “The early bird gets the worm,”
  • “I’m gonna blast through,” or
  • “I don’t know how, but I’m sure we can jump in, use the smarts we have, and get started. Things always work out when we do.”

Which feels best? Which–he asks knowingly–will bring consistently more success?

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: We. Can. Always.

 

Today’s photo credit: Emery_Way Zeus Launches via photopin (license)

Seeing the Good

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Listen to conversations on the street, through the media, at work, and even at home. Much of what we hear is complaint. And too much complaint is bad for our health. Just being around it, our buzz drops and we become less vibrant, healthy, and effective.

We need a little complaint (from ourselves and others) so we can know what focus on next. But we’d do very well to limit exposure and spend more time plugged in, seeing the good, and offering people an antidote to all the complaint.

That’s what we need from you most, good leader.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Nicolas Raymond cc

focus

Focusing on What’s Wrong?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Focusing on what’s wrong feels bad. And it is helpful as long as we continue on to what we want instead and what’s right already. Otherwise, we will be wallowing while thinking, perhaps that we’re solving problems.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: One way to tell if we’re wallowing is that we continue to feel bad. Another way is that we keep seeing less-than-desired results.

 

Today’s photo credit: plaisanter~ cc

It’s Where You Look that Matters

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 1

It seems pretty true that we get what we focus on. So why do we insist on complaint, criticism, and otherwise focusing on what’s wrong at work and home?

Sure, make corrections, as needed. But concentrate on what’s right. Focus on the magic. Focus on people’s potential. And reap the rewards.

It’s where you look that matters.

In your corner,

 

Mike

take a number

When We Want to Whinge

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

There’s nothing wrong with complaint as long as it is merely noticing. “Ah,  that’s something I do not prefer.” It’s the emotion behind the complaint–the frustration, worry, guilt, and sense of hurt justification–that confounds us and those around us.

We think it is natural. We are so used to being in this binding state of complaint that we can’t see how it is so detrimental to our goals. Bound up in what’s wrong, we push away both the the ideas and the people who would help us.

And we become blind to how quickly we can bounce away from complaint and into creative, helpful solutions directed at the object of our complaint. It is quite simple and quick, really.

The first step is to catch ourselves feeling how bad complaining feels. Next, we flip or ladder our way to feeling good. Thus freed, we can see and take advantage of the clever solutions that had been around the whole time, waiting for us to be ready to use them.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: silverfuture via photopin cc

complaint

Why It’s Better Move On

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

When something unwanted happens or when someone does something we don’t like, we tend to get upset. We read the Riot Act. We make sure everyone knows about how bad things are and who we think is to blame.

We do this because we think it will help. We feel justified in our protest and keenly motivated to keep at it. While we are in it, we think that not protesting is the same as agreeing with whatever we have disliked.

Not that it helps, mind you. The longer we focus on our displeasure, the further we get from solutions to whatever we’re upset about. Our upset keeps us in bad feelings. It lowers our ability to think the creatively. And it alienates those who would otherwise be perfectly ready to help us resolve the problems.

Let’s move on instead. The sooner we can get out of complaint, the sooner we can get into better feeling and productive solution.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: greensnapper2013 via photopin cc

Arguing for Our Own Limitations

Posted on 2 CommentsPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

When we complain about, criticize, or blame others, ourselves, the situation, or the economy, we are actually arguing for our own limitation. By focusing in this way, we are saying that we can do little and that our efforts would be wasted.

And we then miss the opportunity to use our good minds, hearts, and hands to grow, win, help, enjoy, liberate, earn, build, love, and make a difference.

I recommend we go for the win over the explanations .

In your corner,

Mike

PS: You are so much more than you think.

Refusing to Go Along

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1

Others, when they are down, can take you into their tailspin. You will know you are heading down with them because you will feel bad and be in complaint mode.

You can  help yourself and help them by refusing to go along. Instead of focusing on the fact that they are down or what they are down about, try this approach:

  • Focus on the desired outcome.
  • Trust it will all work out.
  • Believe in them more than they believe in themselves.
  • Express your faith that they will see it through successfully.

Coach them through it: “This is going to work out. Let’s talk about your next steps.”

This approach an uncanny way of working out well.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Yes, you will have to focus, trust, believe, and express without data or evidence. And without faking it. It’s not hard, remember. It’s just not our usual habit. Give it a shot.

Juicy Goodness

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 1

Sure you can worry, complain, or get angry about another person’s decisions, behaviors, or attitude.  You can go ahead and demand, plead, negotiate, attack, capitulate, cajole, and tolerate. 

You will get better results if you see past all that and focus on their innate talents, potential, and goodness.

And you will be one heck of a leader if you can see and believe in all that good stuff within others even more than they themselves do.

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Remember how it feels when someone recognizes all your juicy goodness? Pass it on.

PPS: This is not to say that you don’t hold people accountable, give and request respect, set boundaries, or call them on stuff. Heavens, no.