A friend wrote: “I would love to talk to [you] about specific problems I have, to lay it all out on the table and sit there and wait for [you] to tell me exactly what I should do. But this would be a cop out, wouldn’t it? It’s like an alcoholic waiting for someone to tell him how to break the habit, when we all know no habit can be broken without the individual concerned taking charge of his own life, moving on to new habits.”
Yes, it is up to you. It is up to each of us.
Of course you can ask for help as long as you stay in charge. Let’s say you are on a ladder, fixing something up above in your home. Your friend is at the toolbox. You say, “Hand me that wrench.” You are in charge and getting help. Next you say to your friend, “This bit is tricky. Do you have any suggestions?” Again, who is in charge?
“I want to get better at this. Help me plan. I notice that I am not as effective at that bit. Help me see what I am missing. Show me some tools and models that will help me think through this. Encourage me. Give me a sounding board for my work.” That is all fair play.
Go ahead. Take (or stay in) charge and ask for the help you need.
In your corner,