We fall into the Right-Wrong Trap whenever we try to convince someone we are right. If we fall into this trap, we will have a very difficult time leading, selling, and influencing.
The Right-Wrong Trap proves that leading, selling, and influencing are not at all about the facts, the merits of our argument, or the proof. The trap’s trigger is personal not logical. No one wants to be told what to do, no one want to lose, no one wants to be wrong, no one wants to be rejected, and no one wants to be unsafe. When we try to prove we’re right, they will use habitual defense systems such as arguing back, tattling, saying, “Yes!” but not following through, and avoidance to prevent losing, being wrong, etc.
Thus triggered, we will respond with our own habitual defense systems. And–sproing–we’re in the trap.
The first step out of the trap is to stop trying to convince them that we are right. Having nothing to fight against, they will soon give up their habitual defense moves. The second step is to stand next to them, metaphorically, and put the problem and everyone’s perception of the facts on the table for both sides to explore and solve.
So right.
In your corner,
Mike
Today’s photo credit: Minnesota Historical Society cc