I am grateful to a reader of yesterday’s Note (“expect that what you want will arrive”) because she helped me refine my suggestion. She noted that when she expects others to do things, for instance, she ends up disappointed, not happy.
Expectation failed, I suspect, because she focused on how something should be done (person X will do Y) and not on what ultimate results she wanted. Of course, we have all done this. Examples include
- pushing for a raise (how) so that we can be less stressed (what) about money,
- trying to get everything on our task list done (how) so that we can relax (what), and
- hoping this winter ends (how) so that we can finally enjoy the weather (what).
When we focus on the “hows,” we add too many constraints and stresses. We become blind to the myriad of other opportunities and avenues that could deliver those desired results.
New suggestion: Expect your desired results (what) and be open to the many wonderful ways (hows) those results will show up.
In your corner,
Mike