Show Me That You Hear Me

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We

Here’s a great way to drain away the drama that distracts and upsets us at work and in life: demonstrate that we understand their perspective. “This is what I heard you say. Did I get that right?” Then ask that they hear ours. Here’s a great way to prolong the drama: try to outwit, out […]

Useless Tools

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Most of the tools in our leadership toolkits are worthless unless the people on our team want to be led. Most of our influencing tools are pointless until our would-be collaborators agree to be influenced. And we can keep most every sales tool locked away while the people we wish to sell to aren’t ready […]

Getting People Ready to Listen

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Sales and Influence, We

Having difficulty getting others to see your point of view? Start by demonstrating that you understand theirs. Having difficulty demonstrating that you understand their point of view? Start by asking them about it. When people know you have understood them, they quite naturally open to understanding you.   In your corner, Mike Today’s photo credit: […]

Our Best Start

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Career, Job search, Leading, Sales and Influence

In an interview, in a sale, when working with colleagues, or when leading others, we best start by understanding what our counterparts need, want, and desire. Then we can explore with them how our talents, products, services, ideas, and requests serve those needs etc. Our first steps are to ask open-ended questions about what they want and why. Then […]

When They Just Don’t Listen

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, We

Sometimes trying to get others to do the things we know they need to do (because it’s their job or it’s for their own good) can be like beating our heads against a brick wall. We try telling, selling, and yelling but they just don’t listen. They don’t because no one wants to be told […]

React or Respond?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading

Poor leaders react. When something unexpected or unwanted happens, they act, rather unproductively, from habit. They speak whatever comes to mind. They exhibit little wisdom. They spin us up. Good leaders respond. When something unexpected or unwanted happens, they pause. They listen. They coach. They are wise. And they refocus us on the big picture. Important […]

Getting People to Listen

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We

“Here’s what you need to do…” People will resist our ideas and never change (or they might maliciously comply) when we start with us, our positions, and our reasons. People will listen to our ideas and (potentially) change their minds when we start with them. Starting with them includes respecting them, their ideas, and their absolute […]

Fundamental Attribution Hearing

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We

Reasons people don’t listen: Our approach feels bad to them. They don’t see how what we have to say connects to what they care about right now. They are ignorant, stupid, or rude. It’s almost never reason #3.   In your corner, Mike   Today’s photo credit: reMuse cc