Tag: judgment

  • Jellyfish or Jackhammer?

    Jellyfish or Jackhammer?

    We can act in response to what we think are other people’s judgments of us. (Yuck.) Or we can act according to what we want. (Lonely.) Success at work happens when we do the later in service of other people, specifically other people whose problems and opportunities we find compelling. Both. And.   In your […]

  • Nothing and No One Needs Fixing

    Nothing and No One Needs Fixing

    Where our inner game is off, it normally comes from us nursing a belief about them, us, or the situation being fundamentally broken. These harsh judgments push us to try to control or fix what’s broken. And this generates huge resistance. It drags down our buzz, drains our batteries, and drives away those we need…

  • When We Remember

    When We Remember

    When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. – Mark Twain And when we remember that we are all doing our best (how could it be otherwise?), our compassion grows. Then work and life becomes delicious again.   In your corner, Mike PS: Judging self and others doesn’t…

  • Door Number 2

    Door Number 2

    Even if we do it behind their backs, people can tell when we have judged, criticized, or found fault in them. They will inevitably react. They may leave or stay. They may get aggressive or, most likely, they will passively and even unwittingly undermine all the good work. Even if we do it behind their…

  • How to Lead When Things Go Wrong

    How to Lead When Things Go Wrong

    When things go wrong (and when they keep going wrong), our temptation is to judge the people involved as underperforming nogoodniks. (We occasionally will use stronger language.) And we jump in and fix it. How frustrating. How exhausting. But the judging shuts people down. The jumping in teaches them that we are never-satisfied micromanagers, random…

  • A Small Journey to the Source of People Problems

    A Small Journey to the Source of People Problems

    Let’s take a small journey then come back home. Most problems at work are people problems. People problems mostly come from our tendency to judge each other. We judge others because, deep down, we want to be special. We want to be special because we, ever deeper down, judge that we are somehow broken. We think we…

  • Not Like Us

    Not Like Us

    It seems that we instantly and all day long judge others as one of us or not one of us. We may judge on skin color, education, political bent, gender, sexuality, weight, membership of this crowd or that, wealth, religion, title, clothing, hairstyle, accent, apparent intelligence, tone, body language, who their friends are, what kind…

  • It Does Take Two to Tango

    It Does Take Two to Tango

    Because, as leaders, we enter many relationships, we often find ourselves bothered by and reacting to other people’s actions. Whenever and with whomever we repeatedly feel angry, rejected, unsafe, or criticized etc., we have joined them in an unpleasant dance. Intellectually we can see that it’s not all them; we own at least half of the problem. But…

  • Why We Cannot Afford to Judge

    Why We Cannot Afford to Judge

    As leaders (with or without title), influencers, and sales people, we cannot afford to judge others. Not at all. To judge another, we necessarily pretend that we are special, more deserving, better. Others will sense this in us and find (oh so) many ways to resist, unconsciously if not consciously. That resistance, left unchecked, kills…

  • Other People Know How We Feel About Them

    Other People Know How We Feel About Them

    In a way, we can say that we are all psychic. We can usually read each other’s emotions quite accurately. We may not believe this. We may ignore what we sense. It’s true nonetheless. When we lead (with or without title), influence, or sell, people react to us based on how we are feeling in…