It happens all the time. We finish a conversation and (often much) later think of a better way we could have listened, empathized, queried, coached, argued, or explained. It’s frustrating. But we don’t have to live with it. Whether we are leading, selling, or collaborating (or parenting, relating, counseling, etc.) we can always go back. […]
That they are not getting valuable stuff done (or are just doing the wrong things) is a sure sign that we haven’t done our job of establishing a clear, compelling, commonly understood goal and constantly reminding people of how what they do contributes to the goal. Of course, we need more than just that goal […]
Sometimes others say or do things that confound us. It is usually some assertion we think is wrong, hurtful, or ignorant. To be polite or because we just couldn’t think of anything to say in the moment, we remain quiet, change the topic, or pretend to ignore what just happened and keep going. We then […]
Tense negotiations, touchy customer service problems, and other emotionally charged situations usually involve two or more parties protecting themselves from each other. No matter what form it takes–typically anger, aloofness, inquisitions, or passivity–such understandable protection has an awful side effect. In protecting ourselves, we squeeze off the very channels of communication we need to resolve […]
People know how you feel about them. Even if you try to hide it. They can feel whether you respect and trust them or are going through the motions. And they will consistently respond to you according to how you judge them. If they sense disrespect or lack of trust, they will get defensive and […]
They are easy. They are ubiquitous. And they are overused. Emails and texts are so easy to send and are great for transactions. Use them for things like, “Where are you?” “I can meet at 2:30” and “The Q2 net disbursements were $1.2M” They are NOT effective for communicating anything with significant emotion, either positive […]