ask them

Ask Them

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success

Other people can be quite frustrating. Since they don’t want to be told what to do or think, how can we possibly lead,  sell, or influence people to see things or do things in a new way? Simple. Start asking questions. Not as an interrogator, mind you. Be curious and caring. Ask them what they […]


We External Processors

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in We

Some of us are external processors: we don’t know what we think until we hear ourselves say it. We are very good at generating new ideas, engaging others, adding energy to a conversation, and breaking the ice at parties. We also can ramble, repeat ourselves, and generally drive our more logical, think-before-you-speak colleagues around the […]


No One Wants To Be Told

Posted 1 CommentPosted in Leading, We

You can tell others, “Do this,” and receive something between reluctant compliance and outright resistance in return. No one wants to be told what to do. Or you can ask others, “How do we achieve this outcome?” You will receive in return their good ideas and engagement. In your corner, Mike   Today’s photo credit: […]


Statements and Questions

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading

Thinking we have to be strong–or at least to look strong or to look like we know something–we make statements. We make our case. We argue. And we forget the power of good question. To see this phenomenon at its most dysfunctional, observe most any politician. Leaders (whether we have that title or not) use […]

Take Charge and Ask

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can, We

A friend wrote: “I would love to talk to [you] about specific problems I have, to lay it all out on the table and sit there and wait for [you] to tell me exactly what I should do. But this would be a cop out, wouldn’t it? It’s like an alcoholic waiting for someone to […]