In a way, we can say that we are all psychic. We can usually read each other’s emotions quite accurately. We may not believe this. We may ignore what we sense. It’s true nonetheless.
When we lead (with or without title), influence, or sell, people react to us based on how we are feeling in general and how we feel about them in particular. It matters little what we say or do. If we see them as a pain, a threat, a nuisance, an obstacle, or an idiot, they will subtly or openly pull away. If we see them as valuable, as a partner, as intelligent, or as worthy, they will engage.
It makes sense, then, for us to be deliberate about how we see others.
In your corner,
PS: It helps to separate the person and the behavior. We can honor the person and judge any negative behavior as unwanted. We can always celebrate their positive behavior.
PPS: It doesn’t matter if we think their behavior justifies our judgment.
PPPS: It doesn’t matter what they think of themselves. One of the greatest gifts we can give another is to practice quietly seeing the good in them even without evidence.
PPPPS: Do you doubt you can be this deliberate? I know you can.