In a typical week, I will hear people say things like
- “My boss doesn’t focus on the right things.”
- “My employee can’t work well with others.”
- “The economy is struggling.”
- “That’s just the way I am.”
- “They aren’t working hard enough.”
- “People don’t listen to reason.”
- “My kid won’t focus on school work.”
- “This company is doomed.”
- “It’s hard to get new clients.”
- “I am not good at follow-through.”
- “This city will never have the infrastructure it needs.”
- “There is no way that person is going to change his stripes.”
Judgments such as these focus on unwanted situations. In the last 7 days, how many times have you said or thought something like the above? If your answer is “more than once per day,” you probably are putting more friction and obstacles in your way than you need to.
As you judge things or people (including yourself), you help to prevent them from being anything else.
One solution is not to judge. That’s an okay response; it will stop the friction and obstacles. A better answer is to select judgments about what you like and want to see in yourself, others, and situations. Because, you see, those judgments will help to prevent you, others, and situations from being anything other than what you want them to be.
In your corner,