Being right is awful. How can it be that we are so sure we are right and yet everyone argues with, fights, or ignores us? It’s because we really want to be right. Which means that we want them to either be wrong or capitulate. That’s win-lose. They can feel it and they will resist it.
Our better alternative is to let go of being right. Yes, we use our smart-thinking-brains to evaluate situations. We do want to get clear about what we think is true now and what we imagine would be better outcomes. Then we stop. Instead of latching on to specific assessments, opinions, and solutions, we turn our focus toward the others involved. We take the time to learn and prove to them that we understand their perspectives.
Only at this point will we have earned the right to share how we see it and then ask them, “How might we solve this?” And only at this point does their resistance melt.
In your corner,
Mike
PS: Letting go of being right is one of several stances we can take to speed up our work with others.
Today’s photo credit: aussiegall via photopin cc
2 thoughts on “Being Right Is Awful And What Works Better”
Neat way to look at, and getting aound one of the most common problems in human relations, Mike! Also can think of it as shifting focus from making points for your side to engaging another person in a common search for the answer… Which just may not be what you were so sure of initially!
Jay
Yes, Jay! We can say, “If I notice that I am trying to make a point, I am probably offside of my stronger, deeper desire for win-win.”