A Better Approach to These Circumstances


Circumstance does not make the man. It reveals him to himself.  -James Allen

We can deal with these circumstances (you know, the ones we face today) in three ways: fight, avoid, or own. The first two are ineffective for the same reason. The last one is very effective though perhaps controversial.

We will choose to fight or avoid these circumstances when we think they somehow threaten us. We fight when we think we are stronger than the circumstances. We avoid when we think the circumstances are stronger than we are. The judgment that these circumstances are a threat says that something or someone has done this to us. It puts the levers to affect these circumstances outside of ourselves. We waste energy defending against the threat and we miss opportunities due to a constricted perspective. Defense always feels bad.

When we own these circumstances, we are choosing to see ourselves as the author of them. It is not at all important whether we “really” are or are not the author of these circumstances. Just saying, “Oh, look what I have created for myself” puts the levers to affect things back inside of us.

Choosing to be the author prevents us from wasting energy in defense and opens us up to better solutions. Choosing to be the author feels better. Others will appreciate our strength and be much more willing to help us. Not restricted by fear of threat, we think better and create much better solutions.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Trevor King cc

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