Rock Stars

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

When we are worried about what to say, how someone might react, or how we’ll be judged, we are pointing the camera at ourselves. We get so concerned about our performance that we wreck our ability to perform. This is true most everywhere including marketing, sales, influence, negotiations, and leading.

The antidote is to turn the camera away from us and towards those we want to lead, sell to, influence, etc. We turn our attention toward the others, what they want, and what makes them tick. By getting out of our own way, we become rock stars at understanding their needs and creating win-win solutions.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Mia Martins cc

Why Getting Our Way Is Worse Than We Think

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Uncategorized
Reading time: 2 min.

We have generally two ways to get others to do what we want. We can use “get my way” methods or we can go for win-win.

Though we might not like to admit it, we all have our “get my way” methods. We use these mostly under stress and often without knowing it. Common ones include being angry, disappointed, authoritative, aloof, dismissive, ‘right,’ ‘better than,’ or pitiful. We use them because they worked for us in the (distant) past and because we assume that they are the fastest route.

The other way is win-win. Here we insist upon either finding a solution that works for us and them or choosing not to proceed. When we don’t go for win-win it’s because we think that asking them what they think takes too long. Asking them also exposes our ideas to critique and change.

Yet “get my way” only appears faster. And it doesn’t work–not for long, anyway. While the actual transaction may be quite short, “get my way” generates poorer short- and long-term results. How likely, after all, is someone to give us their all when they don’t get a win out of it? They will immediately see our self-orientation and start pulling away. When we use “get my way,” we erode trust and encourage at least reluctant compliance or, at most, rebellion.

Going for win-win works and keeps on working. They will see that engaging with us is pleasant and profitable. They will bring their all. Then they and we will want to sign up for that deal over and over. Merely “getting our way” pales in comparison.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Zaneology cc

This Changes Everything

Posted on 2 CommentsPosted in Growth, Leading, Success, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

Two simple thoughts cause most of the pain and dysfunction we see around us. They are, “We are separate,” and, “There is not enough.”

Consider what would happen if people started believing the opposite: “We are one,” and, “There is more than enough.” How would our own lives change? How would all the nasty, divisive, and fearful politics change? What would become of all the injustices? How much better would our companies and institutions run?  What about rage, war, hunger, poverty, and violence?

Would everyone believing in our unity and abundance solve all the problems? Is it even true that we are one and abundant? Perhaps not. But which is more likely to solve our problems, big and small: believing in our isolation and lack or believing in our unity and abundance?

Right. Good. Off you go. Be this change.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Make no mistake: I advocate no political perspectives. To date, all political approaches have spawned from the thoughts of separation and lack. Just read headlines and history to see it.

 

Today’s photo credit: Oksana cc

The Heart of Leadership: Present and Powerful

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Our power is in the present. (How can it be otherwise?) When we are present–especially in interactions with others–we choose to influence where we can, to control what we can (i.e. our own responses), and to handle whatever actually happens rather that what we fear might happen. When we are not present, we are running old programs to avoid–among other things–being obstructed, rejected, hurt, or criticized. Not being present, we think that our best path is to make things happen, to bluster, or to avoid.

A bit of self trust and a commitment to win-win are two necessary and healthy prerequisites. With them, we can be present and powerful for any important conversation, meeting, or event. And things generally will turn out very well.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit:
Tim McFarlane
cc

The Long Game

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

Driving a bargain, cutting a corner, or forcing a result are ways of playing the short game. We gain but it doesn’t last because someone else has lost. Having thus chipped (or hacked?) away at the foundation of relationships, we end up unable to realize the peace, power, and profit of true partnership.

Let us always play the long game.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Pauline Guilmot cc

Our Best Start

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Career, Job search, Leading, Sales and Influence
Reading time: 1 min.

In an interview, in a sale, when working with colleagues, or when leading others, we best start by understanding what our counterparts need, want, and desire. Then we can explore with them how our talents, products, services, ideas, and requests serve those needs etc. Our first steps are to ask open-ended questions about what they want and why. Then we confirm our understanding of what we hear.

We may be tempted not to use this approach as it appears to take too long. Really, though, anything else generates resistance and lengthens the time to get hired, make the sale, come to agreement, or see proper action.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: jakeandlindsay cc

We Have a Manipulation Problem

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence
Reading time: 2 min.

We have a manipulation problem. We don’t want to manipulate or be manipulated. But we all want to get various and sundry people to do what we want. So we tie ourselves in knots trying to get people to do stuff without even seeming manipulative.

But what if we could convince others in ways that they benefit? And what if we could do that convincing not with our ideas of what would be good for them and why but with their own, honest, deeply held reasons?

You may think this sounds too much like a certain orange man’s plan for getting other people to pay for his folly. But consider this: if someone has her own, valid, 100% self-generated, and self-beneficial reasons for agreeing with our suggestion, there can be no foul, no manipulation.

We can help others get to this place by first affirming that they do not have to do what we suggest; the choice is 100% theirs. Next we ask them to consider why they might want to do what we suggest. Then we only accept from them reasons that are honestly beneficial to them (e.g. “You said you thought you should do this. But I am interested in why might you want to do it, for your own benefit.”).

Win, win.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Alan Levine cc

Better Business Decisions

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Strategy
Reading time: 1 min.

We will make much better business decisions when we slow down. We will then be able to take some time, go for win-win, ask a few trusted advisors, and use our logic plus our gut-smarts.

We need not slow down too much.  But we do have to give up on the myth that our value is in coming up with the answers.  Our job is to make sure that decisions are made well and in a timely way

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Brandon Carpenter cc

That Successful 

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success
Reading time: 1 min.

Measuring up, beating the other guy, and doing what we’re supposed to do are sad substitutes for success. What really gets us there are creativity, win-win, and doing what we are.

Our world desperately needs you to be that successful.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: lisadonoghue(away) cc

Ask, Don’t Tell

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

Tell me the answers, what I should do, what’s right, and you may get my grudging compliance. You certainly will be training me to distrust your motives and defend against your suggestions in the future.

But, dear leader, ask me what I think, help me explore options and my own motivation, then set aside your opinions and just plain old hear me, and you will spur me to inspired action, sustained success, and real loyalty.

Think about this the next time you catch yourself in the weeds, pushing, and wondering why they just don’t get it.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Véronique Debord-Lazaro cc