Let’s Be Like the Seed

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Business and life-in-general want results. As soon as we get the results, we look for what we want next. Despite what others might say to the contrary, there is something whole, natural, and good in this cycle of wanting and achieving. It’s like the quiet excitement of a seed as it looks to become a tree.

We can be like the seed or not. If we start from fear or struggle then try to make things happen, we will encounter more friction, drain our resources, and find it harder and harder to get what we want.

If we–ourselves and our teams—get and stay quietly excited about the results we want, we will find it natural and easy to know and do the right things at the right times with the right people.

Let’s be like the seed.


In your corner,


new car

Which Want Works

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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There are two kinds of want. One is useful. The other is quite damaging.

When you use the first kind of want, it might sound like this, “I want a new car.” The second kind sounds like this, “I want a new car.”

I admit, it’s hard to spot the difference. But listen closely, and you’ll soon hear that the first kind of want is a statement of celebration and excited anticipation. It’s as if you are saying, “Yes! This is wonderful. I love it. I look forward to having it. The anticipation of it coming is fun.” The second kind is, oddly, a testament to lack. It’s as if you are saying, “Oh, I ache for that. It seems so far away. I don’t have it now. I wonder if I’ll ever have it. I really want it. I don’t know how to get it. I have to work hard to get it. Maybe I won’t get it.”

Which want works? Which would I say is the one to go with–even without evidence–because it’s so much more useful?

Yup. You got it.


In your corner,


Today’s photo credit: Fabio Aro via photopin cc


Give It

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
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Tell me something you really, really need in your life. And I’ll tell you what you really, really need to give to others.

“Whoa,” you say. “I can’t do that. How can I give what I don’t have?”

Well that’s the trick. And here’s how to do it.

First, what do you want? Maybe it’s money, time, business results, or family outcomes.

Next, tell me what it would mean, what it would feel like to have what you want. Maybe it would mean calm, safety, energy, confidence, joy, relief, a sense of accomplishment, or a sense of belonging. This meaning or feeling is what you really want, of course.

Now give what you really want to someone who needs it. Give calm. Give energy. Help another to feel connected or joyful or safe.

These you have enough of to give. These you can do. And these have the uncanny way of returning your way.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: asenat29 via photopin cc


Who Says You Can’t?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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Who says you can’t have what you want?

Who says you can’t be as healthy, prosperous, and happy as you desire?

Who says you can’t bypass the way things are?

Who says you can’t have yours without taking it from someone else?

Who says you can’t enjoy yourself along the way?

Who says you can’t give everything you have only to receive more in return?

Who says you can’t succeed?

With great care and caring I will tell you who. It’s you.

In your corner,


Today’s photo credit: pfv. via photopin cc


Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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When we experience a disappointment, we often tell ourselves stories to ease the blow. We may tell ourselves how the world is a struggle and how we aren’t lucky or deserving.

The problem with this, of course, is that we believe our stories.

That any avenue of exploration didn’t provide you what you wanted says nothing about your right and ability to have whatever. Not a tut.

Quietly expect what you want. Be curious about how it might show up. Allow feelings of excitement to creep in. And when you feel yourself clamping down for fear that it won’t come true, pause and think anew.

In short, tell yourself a better story.

In your corner,



Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

You can tell you have at least some amount of squeezing off whenever something you want remains stubbornly unachieved.

It’s not bad luck or bad karma. It’s just you being unable to receive what you want most.

To let it in, use the table below.

  1. Start by identifying the essence of what you want. Perhaps you want to finally get that promotion, make that sale, publish that book, lose that weight, grow that business, get that new level of health, find that mate, etc. What is the essence of what you want? Whatever you want will fall into one or more of the six essential desires below.
  2. Next note and allow yourself to feel the related fear. This is the crux of it.
  3. Then start telling a new story about what you want. You can use tools like the flip, the ladder, this is me, a different lie, the keep or toss, and journaling to tell that better story.
Essence of what you want Related fear Possible new story to tell
More knowledge, understanding, ability to solve problems. I fear that I am ignorant, unworthy of understanding. I am wisdom. I receive new knowledge and insights.
More money, business, success, or other tangible outcomes. I fear that I am poor, that I will run out, unworthy of abundance. I am abundant. I see and receive abundantly.
More beauty, fun, harmony, design, completeness, everything working. I fear that I am ugly outside or inside, unworthy of beauty. I am complete and beautiful. I receive harmony.
More connection, relationships, places to fit and belong. I fear that I am isolated, unworthy of acceptance. I belong. I receive connection and love.
More power¹, leadership, recognition.  I fear that I am weak, unworthy of leading. I am powerful. I receive recognition and the ways to be a good leader.
More ease, comfort, safety.  I fear that I am chaos, unworthy of a life without stress, threats, and suffering. I am safe. I receive ease.

¹ Note: Power is distinct from force. Power is supportive; force is destructive. Power is natural; force comes from fear.

I can’t wait to see what you’ll create once you unsqueeze.


In your corner,


It Flows Back Your Way

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

Think about what you would like more of from others. Would you want a little respect? To be heard or to be given some of their time? How about honesty, openness, or withholding of judgement? Maybe it’s trust, love, or kindness? Or accommodation of your preferences every once in a while?

No matter what it is you want, there is an easy way to get it: just give it to others. Before you dismiss this as too old or trite to work, hear me out.

Things we think about enough have the funny habit of happening. It’s just another form of the observation that says we see the world as we are not as it is. When you focus on what you want and are not getting from another, you are subtly repeating to yourself, “I don’t have it.” When you give to another (it need not be to the person you want to receive the same from) something that you want, you establish for yourself the fact that you already have what you want.

Example: Say you want more dedication from your employees or more respect from your boss. Which approach will be more likely to work for you? Continuing to believe your boss or employees don’t care? Or offering more dedication to your employees and respect to your boss?

Right. Start with what you want. Give it freely and expect to see it flow back your way.


In your corner,


PS: It will.

Want What You Want

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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Please let yourself want what you want. It is okay to want. What messes us up are Striving and Denial. Striving and Denial create all the friction, resistance, and negativity that we have been blaming Want for.

Striving is the act of trying to get what we want while believing that what we want is difficult or impossible to have. The most common form of striving is the belief in hard work to get what you want. Hard work can lead to you getting what you want. And so can smart work–only with less struggle and effort.

Denial is pretending we don’t really want we what we want. We have been taught denial by others or by circumstances. When we’ve sought what we want for so long and can’t seem to reach it, it is natural that we would start to deny what we want just to avoid the disappointment.

Clean all that up by just wanting what you want. Okay?


In your corner,




Dirt-Simple Way Past Obstacles

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Organizations, Strategy, Success, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

Let’s say you want something in your career, business, or life. (Hint: if you are breathing, I guarantee you want something.) Maybe it’s more sales, more respect and influence, more income, or more meaningful work. It could be one of a thousand important things. And let’s say that you see one or more serious–even intractable–obstacles in the way.

Our usual responses in these situations is to fight, push, struggle, ignore, or settle. All are great ways to have the obstacles cement themselves in place.

Try this (deceptively simple) process instead:

  1. Write down what you want. (“I want more respect and influence at work.” Or, “I want more sales.”)
  2. Write down every obstacle you perceive to be between you and what you want. (“I don’t have the authority. I’m not skilled enough at X or Y. The corporate culture values something that I am not.” Or, “The economy stinks. My team doesn’t know how to sell well. Our marketing isn’t working.”)
  3. Flip each obstacle. Turn each into a constructive statement of intent, or an “I will…” statement. (“I will influence and gain respect through the value I bring others vs. the authority I have or do not have.” Or, “My team will become competent, confident, authentic, then masterful salespeople.”)

To the extent that you believe your list of “I will…” statements, celebrate! You’ve defined a list of projects that will help you achieve what you want. Start executing these projects right away.

To the extent that you do not believe your “I will…” statements, work on believing them. You can flip your thinking, do ladders, or tell yourself a different lie until you do believe them. Call me if you’d like some help.

This process works because it a) gets the problem out on paper, and b) shows you how much your thoughts and opinions affect results.


In your corner,