Far-Fetched Fantasies of Success

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We are so used to thinking what could go wrong. We dive into far-fetched fantasies to explore the worst possible things that could happen. Flitting from this topic to that, we go through our days often not even aware of this bad-feeling monologue.

One antidote: write down all the ways it could go right. Pick something important to you. Dive into far-fetched fantasies to explore the wonderful, simple, unexpected, and easy ways the best possible things could happen.

Give it a try.

What’s the worst best that could happen if you did?


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Road Fun via photopin cc

little things

Each Little Thing

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
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Moment by moment, every chance we get, we can catch ourselves feeling bad and find a way to raise our buzz, to feel good. With each little thing–remaining calm despite traffic on the highway, letting go thoughts about how another person annoys us, breathing deeply to release tension, setting aside ideas about what’s wrong with this or that–we prepare ourselves to get the big and important things we desire in our lives.

Feeling good, now?


In your corner,


PS: We can tell if we have not been catching these little things because the big and important things seem to remain out of reach.


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What Sort of Thought Is That, Really?

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Positive thoughts feel good when we think them. If we are feeling good, we can keep things rolling in the right direction by continuing to focus on the next positive, good-feeling thought.

Negative thoughts feel bad when we think them. When we feel bad, we are focused on thoughts that tend to push us away from our goals. Like positive thoughts, we may not be able to pinpoint the actual thought but if we’re feeling it, we’re thinking it. Luckily, we can select better feeling thoughts any time we want.

A word of caution though: negative thoughts can masquerade as positive ones. We may pick a thought or affirmation that sounds good but feels bad. If, for example, we may say, “Everything is fine; it’s all going to work out.”  But if we feel, perhaps, a knot in our guts as we say it, then we have found a negative thought masquerading as a positive one. Masquerading negative thoughts feel bad because, deep down, we still believe the opposite.

The way to handle any negative thought–regular or masquerading–is to catch ourselves feeling bad then flip or ladder our thoughts towards the positive.


In your corner,



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Confidence Is Not Speaking Louder

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, Will=Our inner game
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We often misunderstand confidence. We think confidence is faking it until we make it, knowing all the answers, or just speaking louder.

Confidence is not something that we have.  It is not something that we do. We are confident. Or we are not.

And as with every state of being, we have the ability to modify it with our thoughts.  Good feeling thoughts about confidence create confidence.

C’est tout.


In your corner,


PS: By the by, confidence is also not listening, asking questions, or appearing wise.


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Le Viaduc de Millau

When You Need The Impossible

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“That won’t work.”

“I’m not that lucky.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“You can’t change things.”

“It always happens this way.”

“It’s never worked out for me.”

“You are just going to have to face reality.”

Where we experience obstacle after obstacle, we are believing in impossibility.

Where we witness anything new, we are witnessing belief in possibility.

“I am sure I can handle anything that might happen.”

“Past results have no bearing on the future.”

“Lots of other people have done this.”

“I look forward to this working out.”

“I have a good feeling about this.”

“We navigate by wonder.”

“I am curious.”

“It’s working.”


There is nothing more powerful than a thought believed.


In your corner,


PS: Need proof? Look around and notice all the things that were once thought impossible.

PPS: My recommendation to you: go for it.


Today’s photo of le viaduc de Millau credit: Missusdoubleyou via photopin cc


How to Think About Something You’ve Always Wanted

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We know that everything begins with a thought. We get that our thoughts have that weird way of greasing the skids, preparing the soil, or setting the stage for what we want. But what about something we have wanted for a long time? Something that remains stubbornly out of reach?

Well, there is a difference between longing for something that never seems to arrive and expecting something to arrive even when the evidence appears to point in the opposite direction, if you get my meaning.

A big difference.


In your corner,


PS: Hint: we can feel the difference. One feels bad and the other feels good.

PPS: Esoteric? Perhaps. But do you dare try it?


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Scarcity, Problems, Projects, and Possibilities

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From an extremely early age, we were taught to think that scarcity is a fundamental condition of life. And in order to survive, thrive, and get out of this life alive, we learned that we had to control outcomes in our favor. Such control can be active (e.g. forceful) or passive (e.g. poor me), conscious or unconscious.

There are three problems with this learning. First, we can only control one thing: our thoughts. Second, we really don’t need to control anything in the world; we need only influence, mainly through our good-feeling thoughts. And third, life is actually abundant; scarcity only exists in our minds.

This does not mean that we face no problems, projects, or possibilities. It means that solutions abound and we find them by starting with good feeling thoughts, not by controlling or making things happen.


In your corner,


PS: Makes you think, don’t it?
PPS: Want to try influencing through thought? Silently and genuinely wish someone–especially a difficult someone–well today. Note what happens.


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Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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We can plot every thought, feeling, emotion, and moment on a “buzz scale” that might go from from “dark and crappy” to “unbridled delight.” We can also plot our overall buzz as the place where we usually sit on that scale. Our buzz levels correlate to our world- and self views.

The higher our buzz, the better we feel and the easier things get done.

To raise our overall buzz, we need only build the habit of noticing and raising our moment-to-moment buzz. We simply pause and ask ourselves, “What thought would feel better?”


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Maruku San via photopin cc

off shore

Anchored Away

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The extent to which you spend your quiet time (heck, even your noisy time) with your thoughts and words focused on what is, was, or might be wrong or broken is the extent to which you anchor yourself away from the shores of success.

The keel side of that is true, too: the extent to which any success seems out of reach is the extent to which you are maintaining focus on the wrong and the broken.

Pull ashore, mate.


In your corner,


PS: Careful. This idea even applies to what you think about this idea.
PPS: Really. Yes. Shores of success. It’s a thing.


Today’s photo credit: mikebaird via photopin cc


Fundamentally Fine

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

Yesterday’s post about what to do when new habits won’t stick included this postscript: “The good news is that no belief about you, me, or it being fundamentally broken, flawed, or wrong is true. Not a titch.

Most of us face this belief in flaw from time to time. It can be a deep-seated habit. One reader asked for tips on how we can really believe that we and the world are not fundamentally flawed, wrong, or broken.  Here are two exercises you can do to “own” the belief that we are fundamentally fine.

A ladder. Acknowledge that you currently believe the opposite, that you think there is something wrong with you,  me,  or it. Feel how thinking that thought feels. (Hint: instead of words to describe your feelings, look for sensations in your body and describe them.) Sit with it. Allow whatever reactions may pop up; just noticed them. Then ask yourself, “What thought would feel better?” Patiently wait for the answer; it may take 20 seconds or so. Feel what that new thought feels like. Repeat that question with this new thought. Keep iterating until you feel really good.

Some logic. There is no way you can prove true beyond doubt your old belief about you, me, or it being broken, wrong, or flawed. There is also no way to prove true the new belief that you, me, and it are not broken, not flawed, not wrong. Funny,  isn’t it? We hold onto the old belief without proof.  Yet we resist the new belief because there is no proof. If we can hold onto the old belief without proof, then it makes perfect sense to adopt the new belief without proof. Why would we do that? Because it feels better. And because,  with the new belief, we are much,  much, much more likely to have the freedom, joy, growth, and reward we seek.


In your corner,


PS: You need no special rituals to do these exercises (though you can add any you like). You can do these at breakfast, on your commute, or whenever.


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