Why We Should Resist Solving Their Problems

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
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When people are buzzing low, they will almost always present us with problems and complaints. If we’re not careful, we’ll get drawn into the trap of trying to solve or resolve these for them. 

Why is this a trap? Because their low buzz can easily push down our buzz. They feel bad. We react. Then we struggle to improve things from a lower buzz. This is very hard to do. And if we manage it, they’ll just come back next time with another low-buzz problem.

Instead, let’s raise our buzz around them. Without trying, they will find it much easier to start buzzing higher themselves. Then their solutions and resolutions become easy.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: AMagill Patience via photopin (license)

We Can Always

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When faced with big or continuous obstacles, we can say,

  • “I can’t,”
  • “This is impossible,”
  • “That’s not the right process,”
  • “There’s something wrong with me/you/them/it,”
  • “Maybe someone else will figure it out.”
  • “It’s not my fault.”
  • “You can’t make me.”
  • “You gotta take the bull by the horns,”
  • “The early bird gets the worm,”
  • “I’m gonna blast through,” or
  • “I don’t know how, but I’m sure we can jump in, use the smarts we have, and get started. Things always work out when we do.”

Which feels best? Which–he asks knowingly–will bring consistently more success?


In your corner,


PS: We. Can. Always.


Today’s photo credit: Emery_Way Zeus Launches via photopin (license)

Happiness Is…

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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Despite what we may sometimes wish, happiness does not come from wiping out our problems.

We can’t wipe them out. Like ocean waves, life is full of problems and solutions that never stop coming. We become unhappy when we see ourselves battered by these waves and needing to struggle for solutions.

But we can change our perspective. We become happy when we see ourselves surfing atop the waves, relishing them, being quietly powerful, and watching the problems getting solved.


In your corner,


PS: From atop the waves, problems become much less big and important. Often they will sort themselves out with relatively little effort from us. Good reasons to be atop the waves, yes? How to get there? By raising our buzz, of course.


Today’s photo credit: paulpiltdown Just coasting via photopin (license)

What Do We Do When Something Goes Wrong? 

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If we want to forever be in charge of fixing the problems, then we should give lectures, orders, and consequences.

If we want others to take it on, then we should should call out the deviations from goals and coach people to solve the situations themselves.


In your corner,


PS: This is easy to forget. But we really don’t want to be in charge of all that stuff, ya?

Today’s photo credit: chriscardinal 2008 05 03_2707 via photopin (license)


Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
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At the bottom of every problem there is at least one emotion. We are uncomfortable (even fearful) approaching and acknowledging such emotions in ourselves and in others. Yet the problem will persist until we do.

This conundrum costs us dearly in energy wasted trying not to feel the emotions, in unresolved problems lingering, and in problems recurring in different places, with different people, or in different forms.

Happily, these emotions are paper tigers. With a touch of courage, we can lead ourselves and others to find and feel these emotions. This gives us the new perspectives we need to unlock solutions to the problem. We’ll then laugh in wonder at how we could have ever been so stuck in the first place.


In your corner,


PS: If you were tempted to skip reading this post, you got a glimpse of the discomfort that unwittingly maintains this conundrum.


Today’s photo credit: wayofthesword14 cc


Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Leading, Will=Our inner game
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Get clear on the what and the why. The how, who, and when will become silly simple. Any focus on the who, how, and when without really knowing the what and the why explains most of the resistance, pain, or frustration we experience.


In your corner,


PS: Yes. Resistance, pain, and frustration are strong indicators. See them and you’ll likely see a lack of (shared) clarity about the what and the why.

PPS: Strategy then tactics. Tactics isolated from strategy (esp. the “why”) is a recipe for disaster.

PPPS: Yes, we still have to follow through. But follow-through happens easily-happily-freely once we have the what and the why plus the who, how, and when.


Today’s photo credit: Dean Shareski cc

Overwhelming Good

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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A very small proportion of happenings at work, home, and around the world are negative. But it seems that the negative things capture our attention. That is odd because we are doing mostly fine. Perhaps the positive things happen so frequently that we hardly notice them.

Don’t let people (particularly pundits, politicians, and other predators) dial up the doom or fan the fears. Sure, the problems we face are real. We can solve them, together. And maybe we can start to notice the overwhelming good that happens to all of us all the time.


In your corner,


Today’s photo credit: 089:365 Telefunken via photopin (license)

four leaf clover

The Four Things We Must Address to Solve Any Problem at Work

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 2 min.

We are trained to look for and valued as leaders for finding the best solution to any given problem. But this focus gets us into trouble every time.

That’s because every significant problem at work has four dimensions.  Problems arise from and persist due to…

  • What (or Purpose): a lack of a clear, commonly understood, and compelling goal or reason,
  • We (or People): …one or more people or groups believing they are or will be losing out to others,
  • Can (or Perspective): …a negative or low-buzz culture or attitude, and
  • Do (or Process): …haphazard accomplishment of work, lack of flow, lack of follow-through, incomplete systems, or role confusion.

Our standard solutions usually address only one or two of these dimensions. Each of us has a bias toward one of them; we will want to use that hammer for all those nails, every time. And we will argue passionately with each other about the best solution because we are each focusing on a different dimension.

Problems will stubbornly persist until we have tacked all four dimensions. When we address the purpose, people, perspective, and process parts of the problem, we will solve it quickly and completely.


In your corner,

Today’s photo credit: Michelle Tribe cc