We Can Always

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Uncategorized
Reading time: 1 min.

When faced with big or continuous obstacles, we can say,

  • “I can’t,”
  • “This is impossible,”
  • “That’s not the right process,”
  • “There’s something wrong with me/you/them/it,”
  • “Maybe someone else will figure it out.”
  • “It’s not my fault.”
  • “You can’t make me.”
  • “You gotta take the bull by the horns,”
  • “The early bird gets the worm,”
  • “I’m gonna blast through,” or
  • “I don’t know how, but I’m sure we can jump in, use the smarts we have, and get started. Things always work out when we do.”

Which feels best? Which–he asks knowingly–will bring consistently more success?

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: We. Can. Always.

 

Today’s photo credit: Emery_Way Zeus Launches via photopin (license)

The General

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

The General is our internalized voice of external authority that tells us what to do. It “shoulds” all over us with edicts like, “You should be always busy and productive. You must strive to be acceptable. You have to do what’s expected. You should be nice. You have to exercise and lose weight. You should know lots of things. You should do what we have always done. You must not stand out. You must stand out. This is just the way life is. You have to be successful, better than, on top. You should do the dishes.”

Yes, we all have a General.

The General gets us to obey by promising safety or threatening lack of safety. But following the General’s rules feels bad: tight, numb, heavy. Very draining.

Happily, we can get the General to sit down and be quiet. We can replace its “shoulds” with mission and choices. Notice, for example, how freeing it is to drop, “I must keep busy,” and replace it with, “I choose to relax,” “I choose to create or recall my mission,” or “Having my mission in mind, I choose to do this activity to advance it. Then I choose to wash the dishes.”

So much better.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: And in case you’ve wondered what would happen to society if we all chose to do whatever we wanted, no need to worry. We also get to say things like, “I choose to follow the rules of the road, to be in harmony with my community, to participate in society, etc.”

 

Today’s photo credit: bnilsen cc

Irresponsible Optimism

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Is it irresponsible optimism to say, “Yes, I acknowledge the obstacles. We are going to succeed nonetheless.”?

Perhaps.

And it is the only way anything meaningful ever happens.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Nothing is inevitable unless we say so.

PPS: Does saying so guarantee it will happen? Nope. Not saying so pretty much guarantees it won’t happen, though.

 

Today’s photo credit: Annette Dubois cc

precarious

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success
Reading time: 1 min.

Despite commitments and good intentions, people regularly fail to do what they had said they would do. It is tempting to explain that their lack of moral fiber or their deep, dark intention to do harm causes these failures.

Most of the time, fiber and dark intention have nothing to do with it. People fail to follow through because unforeseen or unacknowledged obstacles get in the way. Obstacles such as misunderstanding the goal, not knowing how, misunderstanding scope, having too much to do, worrying about others opinions and reactions, and lack of various resources can stop people from acting.

We can dramatically increase follow through by asking two simple questions. Once we have discussed the situation and selected a likely solution, we ask

“What could go wrong? (Or, “What are the obstacles?”)

“How can we get past those obstacles?”

When asked, people surprisingly know the obstacles standing between them and their commitments, can come up with good strategies to work around those obstacles, and will be much more likely to follow through on their commitment.

So, ask.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Flооd via photopin cc