Generate Results in Meetings

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading
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We might push, posture, protect, or prattle to get results in a meeting. Or we can let go, listen, learn, and lean in.

Which aprroach is more likely to generate results that last beyond the end of the meeting?


In your corner,


P.S. And love.

P.P.S. Which approach is more enjoyable, more likely to make meetings something people look forward to not dread?

Tough Love

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, We=All Who Matter
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Seeing unhelpful behavior from someone on the team, we tend to either avoid or press.

If we tend to avoid, we don’t want the conflict. But then we will keep missing the opportunities to call people on unhelpful behaviors. They will believe we tacitly agree with their approach. The longer we wait, the harder it is to call them on it, and the worse it gets.

If we tend to press, we like to tell it like it is. Usually, they will read anger or at least frustration in us. But this unwittingly causes withdrawals from the relationship bank accounts we have with others. The more we press, the more likely they are to give up on us.

Seeing unhelpful behavior, our job is not to press or avoid. It is to go for tough love.

We just have to remember to do both the tough and the love.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Erin


Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
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Hyper, unexamined, superhuman, the need to keep up, and racing to it. Not the product of a strategic decision but an unexamined ramping up of idiocy. This is what many of us mistake for success.

Success really is loving and spending time and attention on what we love.

What do you love?


In your corner,


PS: It’s fine if what you love is what you had been chasing. Just ease back to loving it and watch it come closer of its own accord. Never a need to chase.


Today’s photo credit: David Goehring cc


Good Leadership, Wise Business

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Will=Our inner game
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The sages tell us that there are only two reactions to anything: fear or love. Nothing else. So if we catch ourselves feeling bad or trying to attack, avoid, complain, or criticize anything, we are in fear.

The solution to whatever we fear is to love it. This does not mean we should accept something that is unacceptable. It means that we are to pause and wait for a better-feeling, more love-centered solution than attack, avoid, etc. (This works wonderfully well, by the way.)

At work, this looks a lot like good leadership and wise business practices.


In your corner,


Today’s photo credit: merec0 cc

fearful plate

Fear and Love

Posted Posted in Will=Our inner game
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At the base of everything we experience is fear and love. That’s it. That’s all. We are a bundled blend of these. We are heading toward more love and less fear.

Fear impels a need to control actively (make stuff happen, attack) or passively (avoid, defend). Control is silly: things are way too complex to control; and people and things don’t want to be controlled. Fear and control create resistance. Fear & control create ideas and actions that create more fear and control.

Love, on the other hand, inspires self and others to ideas and actions that work well and work well together.

The trap here is to say, “Yes, yes. I get it.” And then continue to fear something at some level. Or to say, “That’s ridiculous.” and continue to experience resistance.

Compassion for self and others is the cure for fear. Noting what feels good guides us toward love and away from fear.


In your corner (and with much love),


PS: Yes, of course this applies at work.


Today’s photo credit: Aurelien Guichard cc


The Secret Ingredient

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
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Before we direct, correct, encourage, sell to, influence, plead with, or praise people, let’s take a moment to quietly love them. If we can’t love them, let’s appreciate them. We can find even some small aspect about who they are that we honestly appreciate. It takes a minute or two before a meeting. With practice, we can do it in a second or two.

It’s as if we are opening a small, safe, and completely appropriate channel between our heart and theirs. It reminds us both about our shared humanity. It encourages mutual respect and trust. And it fortifies the foundation upon which we can do great work together.

The secret ingredient we have been seeking is love.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Thai Jasmine (…Smile..) cc


Power and its Opposite

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 2 min.

Let’s agree to be powerful leaders (with or without title).

To do that, let’s first distinguish power from its opposite. Power is the stance of a person who knows who she is, who understands his habits and fears, and who, no matter what happens or may happen, remains undefended and clearly focused on and in (though not of) this moment. It seems that, just by being present, a powerful person makes desired results happen more easily. Power builds on itself.

The opposite of power is force or control. Control (or force) is the stance of a defensive person. Not knowing themselves, forceful people blindly deploy their defenses with disappointing and even destructive results. Controlling, forceful people generate resistance to desired results even as they seek to make things happen. Force and control eventually collapse.

Of course, power and its opposite are not binary states; they seem to be two ends of a spectrum. We appear to sit somewhere on the line between the two.

Because power and force can take many and similar forms, we can confuse them. One forceful person can seem docile and a powerful one can seem demanding. That’s why we need to keep the distinction between the two. Otherwise we can be tempted to emulate or distance ourselves from the wrong one.


In your corner,


PS: As in, trying not to be powerful for fear we’d be forceful. Or acting forceful because we think that is what is powerful. Happens all the time.
PPS: Just so we’re clear: power comes from deep love. Force comes from fear.
PPPS: Really, all of us are 100% powerful. Yes, especially you. If it doesn’t seem so it is because the opposite of power is temporarily covering the power.


Today’s photo credit: Striking Photography by Bo Insogna via photopin cc

heart hand

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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The sages have always said that there are just two emotions: love and fear. It’s helpful to see that these are two sides of the same coin. Love is what you feel whenever you are allowing and appreciating what you want. Fear is what you feel whenever you are holding yourself away from what you want.

When you feel good, you are in love. When you feel bad, you are in fear; you are holding love away from you. Success and love are tightly related.


In your corner,



PS: Yes, only these two.

PPS: What do you mean, “Yeah, but, how does this apply at work?”

PPPS: Yes, it’s always been in your hands.
Today’s photo credit: just.Luc via photopin cc



Posted 2 CommentsPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1

Sometimes we compete on price not value. Sometimes we attribute the basest of motivations to others and similarly justify our own slide. Sometimes, when we notice what others are doing, we withhold, we protect, we do the minimum, we go through the motions, we complain. Sometimes we race to the bottom where we all lose.

Such races are neither required nor inevitable. We race there out of habit and out of fear.

We can also race to the top where we all win. We can engage, give with no need for return, lean in, teach, lend a hand, and compete on value and love. We race here when we remember how great it feels, how very real problems melt away, and how all the benefits arise from simply participating.


In your corner,



PS: Wanna race?

Today’s photo credit: w4nd3rl0st (InspiredinDesMoines) via photopin cc