Useless Tools

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Most of the tools in our leadership toolkits are worthless unless the people on our team want to be led. Most of our influencing tools are pointless until our would-be collaborators agree to be influenced. And we can keep most every sales tool locked away while the people we wish to sell to aren’t ready to be sold to.

Before they are ready for us, our only useful tools are asking about and listening to what makes a win for them.

 

In your corner,

Mike

Today’s photo credit: Infinity Studio Flat pic #5 via photopin (license)

Getting People Ready to Listen

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

Having difficulty getting others to see your point of view? Start by demonstrating that you understand theirs.

Having difficulty demonstrating that you understand their point of view? Start by asking them about it.

When people know you have understood them, they quite naturally open to understanding you.

 

In your corner,

Mike

Today’s photo credit: Katy Wrathall Biscuit face via photopin (license)

Getting Others to See It Your Way

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

To get others to see things our way, we can try being louder, more energetic, more logical, more polite, or more correct.

Or (and this is much faster) we can first demonstrate to their satisfaction that we understand their way of seeing it.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: jimsheaffer Disco Ball via photopin (license)

Our Best Start

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Career, Job search, Leading, Sales and Influence
Reading time: 1 min.

In an interview, in a sale, when working with colleagues, or when leading others, we best start by understanding what our counterparts need, want, and desire. Then we can explore with them how our talents, products, services, ideas, and requests serve those needs etc. Our first steps are to ask open-ended questions about what they want and why. Then we confirm our understanding of what we hear.

We may be tempted not to use this approach as it appears to take too long. Really, though, anything else generates resistance and lengthens the time to get hired, make the sale, come to agreement, or see proper action.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: jakeandlindsay cc

We Have a Manipulation Problem

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence
Reading time: 2 min.

We have a manipulation problem. We don’t want to manipulate or be manipulated. But we all want to get various and sundry people to do what we want. So we tie ourselves in knots trying to get people to do stuff without even seeming manipulative.

But what if we could convince others in ways that they benefit? And what if we could do that convincing not with our ideas of what would be good for them and why but with their own, honest, deeply held reasons?

You may think this sounds too much like a certain orange man’s plan for getting other people to pay for his folly. But consider this: if someone has her own, valid, 100% self-generated, and self-beneficial reasons for agreeing with our suggestion, there can be no foul, no manipulation.

We can help others get to this place by first affirming that they do not have to do what we suggest; the choice is 100% theirs. Next we ask them to consider why they might want to do what we suggest. Then we only accept from them reasons that are honestly beneficial to them (e.g. “You said you thought you should do this. But I am interested in why might you want to do it, for your own benefit.”).

Win, win.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Alan Levine cc

When They Just Don’t Listen

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

Sometimes trying to get others to do the things we know they need to do (because it’s their job or it’s for their own good) can be like beating our heads against a brick wall. We try telling, selling, and yelling but they just don’t listen.

They don’t because no one wants to be told what to do. Ever. Nor do they want to be shoulded or guilted into anything.

We need a way to move people so they don’t resist, so they do listen. And that way starts by affirming to them that we can’t make them do anything then asking them why they might do what we suggest. We simply help them find their own motivation. It’s in there.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Of course, you don’t have to try this. But, why might you consider trying this approach just one time this week?

 

Today’s photo credit: Christian cc

React or Respond?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 1 min.

Poor leaders react. When something unexpected or unwanted happens, they act, rather unproductively, from habit. They speak whatever comes to mind. They exhibit little wisdom. They spin us up.

Good leaders respond. When something unexpected or unwanted happens, they pause. They listen. They coach. They are wise. And they refocus us on the big picture.

Important distinction, yes?

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Jay Morrison cc

Getting People to Listen

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

“Here’s what you need to do…”

People will resist our ideas and never change (or they might maliciously comply) when we start with us, our positions, and our reasons. People will listen to our ideas and (potentially) change their minds when we start with them.

Starting with them includes respecting them, their ideas, and their absolute authority over whether they change or not. We can then build a bridge from their opening mindset to an exploration of their desired outcomes and to the obstacles that block those desires. We finish with exploring ways for them to win those desired outcomes and for us to win ours.

This is another case of giving to get. We get people to listen by listening to them.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Mr. Nixter cc

A Leadership Power Tool

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Uncategorized
Reading time: 1 min.

Often the greatest gifts we can give another is to listen to them.

Just listen and give acknowledgments (nods, “yeses,” and occasional brief recaps of what you heard).

No advice, no direction, and certainly no oh-yeah-let-me-tell-you-what-happened-to-me.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: This is a leadership power tool. Listening can melt tensions, heal worries, and open doors to new opportunities. It works well with our friends and miraculously with our enemies.

Today’s photo credit: Manchmal könnte ich schmelzen via photopin (license)