That Impulse to Help

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

At least once today, we each will see someone with a need that we can very easily fill. We will know instantly what they need and what we should do. It will be something on the order of a small kindness: a smile, an encouragement, a caution, an answer, a small favor, an acknowledgement.

But our histories and habits will stop us. To avoid some perceived threat (there are many and they follow what is for each of us a familiar pattern) in the situation, we will override our impulse and not follow through with the help.

The good news is that we are neither our histories nor our habits. We can catch those impulses to help and pause. We can then see that following through on these impulses is not a threat but a joy. And we will soon learn that regularly following through is an investment that pays us back again and again.

 

In your corner,

Mike

The Leadership, Sales, and Influence Instinct

Posted on Posted in Leading, Sales and Influence
Reading time: 1 min.

Helping others win is an instinct we all possess. Deep down, we always feel the impulse to help and be helped. But that impulse gets buried by convention and conditioning.

Yet this instinct works for us. Our ability to lead, sell, and influence well is really our ability to help others win and to create wins for ourselves as happy byproducts.

Notice and set aside the conditioning (for example: distrust) and convention (“it’s not my job,” for example). Go with the instinct to help others win.

  

In your corner,

Mike

Today’s photocredit: SuperFantastic cc

easy as pie

Make It Easy for Them to Help You

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

How do you get more people to make a donation to a charity? Be pleasant. Believe in the cause yourself, tell people what specifically you want them to donate, give them an easy-to-notice link to press, and make the transaction as friction-free as possible.

How do you get a decision out of a busy executive? Be pleasant. Prepare. Tell them the issue–in one sentence. Tell them the impact of this issue–as they would see it–in one sentence. List the options they might take in a bullet list. Give them your recommendation and reasoning. Then ask them for their decision.

How do you get people to go for a networking coffee with you? Be pleasant, commit to keeping the meeting to 20 minutes long (but book an hour on your calendar should they wish to extend the conversation), and find a time (even if it’s weeks away) and place that is convenient for them.

If we make it easy for people to help us then most of them will.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Christaface via photopin cc

SweetSpot

To Have a Truly Successful Career

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Career, Sweetspot
Reading time: 2 min.

There is a bit of a bun fight going on in the career coaching world about what it takes to have a successful career. On one side, experts advise us to follow our passion. “Do what you love,” they say. Experts on the other side say passion is highly overrated and what we really must do is engage and hone our talents.

Who is right? Both and neither. We must be talented at what we do or people will be reluctant to pay us. We must also do what what motivates and excites us or we will find ourselves in dead-end work.

But talents and passions are not enough. To have a truly successful career, we must have some of our significant needs,  wants,  and, desires (e.g. income, balance, work environment, challenge) met. And our work must, must significantly help other people or organizations.

If we leave out of the equation our needs, etc., we won’t have a career, we will have martyrdom. Likewise, we need to help people and/or organizations solve their problems otherwise there will be no one to pay us; we will have found not a career but a hobby.

Pull all four factors together–our talents, passions, needs/wants/desires, and our sense of the problems we like to help others solve–and we are living from our SweetSpot. Here we find careers full of success, meaning, reward, and joy.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 
Today’s photo credit: herbraab via photopin cc

Take Charge and Ask

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

A friend wrote: “I would love to talk to [you] about specific problems I have, to lay it all out on the table and sit there and wait for [you] to tell me exactly what I should do. But this would be a cop out, wouldn’t it? It’s like an alcoholic waiting for someone to tell him how to break the habit, when we all know no habit can be broken without the individual concerned taking charge of his own life, moving on to new habits.”

Yes, it is up to you. It is up to each of us.

Of course you can ask for help as long as you stay in charge. Let’s say you are on a ladder, fixing something up above in your home. Your friend is at the toolbox. You say, “Hand me that wrench.” You are in charge and getting help. Next you say to your friend, “This bit is tricky. Do you have any suggestions?” Again, who is in charge?

“I want to get better at this. Help me plan. I notice that I am not as effective at that bit. Help me see what I am missing. Show me some tools and models that will help me think through this. Encourage me. Give me a sounding board for my work.” That is all fair play.

Go ahead. Take (or stay in) charge and ask for the help you need.

 

In your corner,

Mike

Prevailing Winds

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

When the prevailing winds are against you, you can change, duck, or leave.

Or, you can help.

It’s easy. Seek to understand what those involved really fear, really desire. Acknowledge, if only quietly to yourself, that deep feeling. Then make clear your intent to help them.

 

In your corner,

Mike