huh

What Sort of Thought Is That, Really?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Positive thoughts feel good when we think them. If we are feeling good, we can keep things rolling in the right direction by continuing to focus on the next positive, good-feeling thought. Negative thoughts feel bad when we think them. When we feel bad, we are focused on thoughts that tend to push us away from […]

transmit

Feel Good Despite

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can, We

Have you noticed how others can set our mood? If another person is having a bad day, we can take it on, a little or a lot. We might start feeling as they do. Or we might react negatively to something they are feeling. Either way, we have let them decide whether or not we […]

focus

Attention For Results

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can, Do

Contrary to common wisdom, the results we get come from how we focus our attention and not our actions. Our actions simply flow from our focus. If our attention is scattered by habit, urgency, fear, threat, or focus on whatever we do not want, then our actions will be distracted and ineffective. Our results will […]

lemons

Fundamentally Fine

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Can

Yesterday’s post about what to do when new habits won’t stick included this postscript: “The good news is that no belief about you, me, or it being fundamentally broken, flawed, or wrong is true. Not a titch.” Most of us face this belief in flaw from time to time. It can be a deep-seated habit. […]

stick

What To Do When New Habits Won’t Stick

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Try as we might, sometimes new habits just won’t stick. When we struggle to adopt a new habit–eating well, not procrastinating, or reacting better around others, for example–we very likely are holding ourselves stuck with another, deeper habit. Replace the deeper habit to eliminate the struggle. Then adopt the first habit with ease. The deeper […]

earth

Can We Change, Really?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Can we really change? Can people on our team change? Can any of us get better at anything or are we stuck with the hand we’ve been dealt from the personality card deck? If we believe that our personality traits are set for us by some combination of nature (DNA) and nurture (our experiences), then […]

locked

Solution-Resistant Problems

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Some problems seem to resist solving. These problems feel bad to consider. Knowing how uncomfortable they are, we don’t fully address them. Instead of solving the problem for good, we end up creating “solutions” that only numb the discomfort. To solve solution-resistant problems, embrace them. Start by feeling through the bad feeling. Catch yourself feeling […]

It’s like turning your head

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Can

Evolutionary neurologists have a good explanation for our habit of focusing mostly on the negative, the problems, what is wrong. They explain how we inherited our vigilance from distant ancestors who needed to be on guard against lion attacks. We focus our attention today on the negative because we believe, somehow,  that this is the […]