Focusing on What’s Wrong?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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Focusing on what’s wrong feels bad. And it is helpful as long as we continue on to what we want instead and what’s right already. Otherwise, we will be wallowing while thinking, perhaps that we’re solving problems.


In your corner,


PS: One way to tell if we’re wallowing is that we continue to feel bad. Another way is that we keep seeing less-than-desired results.


Today’s photo credit: plaisanter~ cc


Cast A Narrow Net

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Hiring, Job search, Leading, Sales and Influence
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We may think that casting a wide net is best. That is, we look for jobs, clients, employees, markets, and other opportunities in as many places and industries as possible. “The more places I look, the better chance I have of finding something,” we say.

But wider nets paradoxically make our job harder. Wide nets turn up far more duds to sift through. Others find it difficult to help us because “any and all would do” doesn’t paint a picture. Nothing clicks to remind them of people or situations they know that could help us.

With a narrow net–a focus on one place or industry that resonates with our interests and values–we go deeper, become experts, and build strong networks of like minded people. We know what to say. People begin to expect to see us here. And others can better help us because our specific descriptions remind them of people and situations they know.

Stick to your niching.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: UlyssesThirtyOne cc


Too Much Bad to Feel Good?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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How can I raise my buzz? How can I go about feeling good when circumstances are this bad?


Your results match how you feel.  But it can seem silly to expect that we can suddenly feel good when we are so occupied with what’s not going well at work or home.

But we each have the ability to generate better feeling thoughts, quickly. We can all feel what it will feel like when what we want happens. We need only ask ourselves, “What do I want?” or, “What’s one thought I can think that feels better than I now feel?” It may take 10 to 20 seconds for the better-feeling thought to appear. But it will appear, despite whatever negative circumstances had been holding our attention.

Feel good and things will open up.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: Oskar Widerberg cc


The Economics of Moving Others

Posted 1 CommentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

Focusing on what is wrong with another has the ugly effect, more often than not, of perpetuating whatever is wrong. (If you don’t believe this, think back to the last time you thought, “How many times do I have to tell them…?!” or “When will they get it through their skulls…?” or “When I’m made Master of the Universe, none of this will ever happen again!”)

Of course, focusing on what is right in another encourages more of the right.

So which would you like to see more of? The economics are odd here. We believe (or we act as if we believe) that we must clamp down on others’ shortcomings so that they stop damaging everything. Yet redirecting our energy budget toward increasing others’ strengths will be simpler and have much better payback.

And, as leaders (with or without title), we have an even better performing tool: if we express our certainty in another’s potential despite evidence of their incompetence or lack of evidence of their greatness, we give them permission to unleash amazing capabilities.


In your corner,


PS: Though this approach may sound far-fetched, impractical, or beyond your abilities, I know you will figure it out and reap wonderful returns on your investment.


Today’s photo credit: Muffet via photopin cc


Bad News, Good News, Best News

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success
Reading time: 2 min.

The bad news is that we are pretty much the sole source of any lack of success we experience, anywhere. <<sigh>>

The good news is that we are pretty much the sole source of any success we want. <<yes!>>

The best news is that we don’t have to fret the details, worry the plans, or try to make success happen. Success comes quickly when we focus on what we really want, build win-win partnerships with everyone who matters, tune our inner game toward good feeling thoughts, and act as inspired each moment. <<whoooohoooo!>>


In your corner,


PS: Do you know what you really want? Are those around you winning and supporting you to win? Do you feel good? Can you trust that, from a pile of anything you might do, you can select the most compelling thing to do right now and that is more than enough?

PPS: Or are you scattered? Are there fights and complaints? Are you down or angry, maybe focusing on what’s wrong? Are you pushed about by meetings and emails? It can really seem as though you have to figure it out, make it happen, push. Hard as it is to imagine when you are struggling, trust that your only work is to focus, build, tune, and act as described above.
Today’s photo credit: Spatial Mongrel via photopin cc


Some Call This Leadership

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Leading, Success, We=All Who Matter, What=Compelling Focus, Will=Our inner game
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We can wait around for it. We can bemoan how the people in charge aren’t doing anything about it. We can fight to make everybody do it.

And it will remain undone.

Or we can maintain a focus on it and, without needing to know how, anticipate-know deep down that it will happen. We can get others help because they will see it as a win for them. We can do whatever makes most sense to do this moment and the next. And it, like anything whose time has come, will happen.

Some people call this leadership.


In your corner,


PS: We all can do this. No appointment or anointment necessary.

PPS: What are you struggling with most right now? Hmm. OK. See above.


Today’s photo credit: SimonQ錫濛譙 via photopin cc

off shore

Anchored Away

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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The extent to which you spend your quiet time (heck, even your noisy time) with your thoughts and words focused on what is, was, or might be wrong or broken is the extent to which you anchor yourself away from the shores of success.

The keel side of that is true, too: the extent to which any success seems out of reach is the extent to which you are maintaining focus on the wrong and the broken.

Pull ashore, mate.


In your corner,


PS: Careful. This idea even applies to what you think about this idea.
PPS: Really. Yes. Shores of success. It’s a thing.


Today’s photo credit: mikebaird via photopin cc

turn to focus

Turn to Focus

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
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The suggestion is, “Feel good. Then act.” And that knot in your gut, that tension between your shoulders or up your neck, that jittery, bothersome, or stiff sensation in your chest, legs, back, or head, that sense of weight, cold, or weariness? These all feel bad.

When you feel (and feelings happen in your body) bad, you are focused on a thought–often a habitual thought, one you typically do not notice consciously–that runs counter to what you need, want, and desire. Since our thoughts have an uncanny way of creating reality, I recommend you turn to focus on what you want.

You need not understand or even identify the bad-feeling thought. Just ask, “What thought would feel better than this?” Appreciating all that you already are and have is another good method. And so are all of these: the flip, the ladder, telling yourself a different lie, the keep-or-toss, and this is me.

Get good at focusing on what you want and you will get good at getting what you want.


In your corner,



Today’s photo credit: C.P.Storm via photopin cc



Choose to Dwell

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Will=Our inner game
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“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – Shakespeare

What Will means is that we can choose to dwell on the good or the bad in every thought, situation, or thing. A shockingly high proportion of our work as leaders is to acknowledge the bad (mustn’t bury our heads in the sand), maintain focus on the good, and have others to do the same.


In your corner,



PS: We are leaders. Some of us even have a title that says so.

Today’s photo credit: tonynetone via photopin cc

New Year: How to Change the Stubborn Issues

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 3 min.

In this time of resolutions, reflection, and list-making, we can become understandably skeptical. Often the things we really want to be different just don’t change. We justifiably think that anything we might try now will suffer the same fate as past efforts.

Luckily, it’s not true. You can affect any change you want. Even (and especially) the stubborn issues. The solution is to change your focus.

We all tend to focus on the problem. When we have a persistent unwanted situation it’s a sure bet that our moment-to-moment thoughts contain complaint, anger, or worry about it.

“I hate how much I weigh.” “Why can’t we grow this business?” “I don’t have enough money.” “These people just don’t care or work hard enough.” “I don’t deserve it.” “My boss doesn’t understand.” “Why am I so often alone?”

Our thoughts of complaint, anger, and worry are so habitual that we are often unaware of them. They make up the ground of our existence and we are blind to how they work and our power to change them. You can tell you’re thinking them because you’ll feel bad as you think them.

We stick with our problem-focus because we mistakenly think it will spur us to productive action. Actually, getting stuck on the problem locks the problem in place.

Let us instead focus on what we want. It is natural and helpful to notice what is not working, what we do not want.  To have the changes we want, we must continue past the thoughts of what’s wrong and focus on what we want. This means catching (not squelching, mind you) our moment-to-moment thoughts of worry, anger, and complaint about the problem then flipping them. It means building the habit of regularly describing, imagining, telling stories about, and feeling what we want. It means shifting toward expecting the change we want to happen.

As you shift your focus, you will notice new ideas, options, and actions that will take you where you want to go.

Why this works. Focusing on what’s wrong prevents us from seeing the ideas and options that will help us. Focusing on what’s wrong feels bad and drains our energy. It also pushes away others who might otherwise want to help. Focusing on what we want attracts others, pumps us with energy, feels good, and opens us to helpful ideas, options, and actions.

It is simple to shift our focus toward what we want. It may not be easy because we are so used to focusing on we do not want. It is so worth it, though.


In your corner,