big picture

Expect Big Picture End Results

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, Success
Reading time: 1 min.

Yes, expect more.

But what we expect matters. If we expect specifics–especially what a specific person or situation could or should give us–we will have a bad time.

We see this in sales when we put faith in one opportunity to make our number for the quarter. We see this in leadership when we micromanage and people push back. We see it in collaboration when we demand people act the way we want them to on this project or at that meeting; they won’t. We see it in every false hope.

Instead, we will be very successful when we focus generally. We envision the desired big picture end result. We navigate by curiosity: “I’m sure it will work out. I can’t wait to see how.” We take specific actions with specific people as they arise. And we avoid attaching any significance to the details.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Happiness is the biggest-picture end result. It’s what you get when you repeatedly ask yourself, “And why do you want that outcome?” — no matter where you start. It trumps all those pesky details every day.

 

Today’s photo credit: Joel Tonyan cc

doggie dog

Expect More

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

We all always get the level of success we expect.

Want more? Expect more.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Rien de plus simple, oui?

PPS: By expect, I don’t mean, “I expect you to finish your dinner, young man!” I mean, “quietly, excitedly anticipate like a dog waiting for her human to come back home.”

Today’s photo credit: Mark cc

can do

How To Expect Them To Do Well

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

In yesterday’s note, we saw how our beliefs about people’s capabilities affect their performance. Regardless of how much we may want them to do well, if we think they won’t, they likely won’t. If we expect them to do well, they very likely will.

But how do we set up this positive anticipation? And how do we do this when all we’ve seen so far is their poor performance? To believe they can do whatever, regardless of their history is not as outlandish as it sounds when we see the real roadblock.

The real roadblock to believing in another’s capabilities is not so much their history. It is our desire not to be hurt, disappointed, criticized, or obstructed. We play out in our mind all the things that could go wrong if they mess up and what that will mean to us. “If they screw this up, these bad things will happen to/for me. So I can’t let them screw this up.”

The way past this roadblock is to remember that we don’t need to worry: we can handle anything that they might do. When we see this, we stop fearing and our hearts open up. We can say things like, “I am sure you can do this. Your talents are just what we need here. How can I help?”

As our hearts open, their minds open, and–whooosh–they start performing like superstars.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Yes, whooosh.

PPS: Yes, there are other variables in play such as their talent & skills, the availability of the expert knowledge they will need, the scope of the problem, and the urgency. But by believing in them then coaching them through whatever blind spots they may have, we can help them succeed with even the most challenging problems.

PPPS: Of course it’s worth it. The alternative is that you end up doing all the work, right?

 

Today’s photo credit: Michael Dawes cc

leap of faith

Expect Them to Do Well

Posted on Posted in Leading, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

We get what we expect. Not what we hope, not what we think should be. This is true in general and it is especially true for getting other people to do stuff.

When we plead or demand that others do stuff or when we worry about or criticize them for their inability to do stuff, we are relying on hope or should. If we expect them to fail, if we judge that they can’t handle it or aren’t capable, they will fail. And we will remain disappointed.

When we know better than they do that they are fully capable and we trust that they will figure it out, then they will, more often than not. They will step up. We will be delighted and so will they.

What do you expect of the people around you?

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: By expect in this context we mean we know or we are certain. This version of expect is not I demand as in, “I expect you to be home by 11, young man!”

PPS: This sort of expectation initially can require a leap of faith. But the payoff is worth it.

 

Today’s photo credit: Scott Ableman cc

expect

What Do You Expect?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

We can live life and lead others as if we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anticipating that something bad is bound to happen (because, it always does, right?), we exist on high alert. We divert quite large quantities of time, energy, and effort to preventing, preparing for, and dealing with a sea of unwanted obstacles.

Or we can live life and lead others with an expectation that everything is going to work out fine. And when an obstacle appears (yes, they do appear), we will deal with it.

Of course, the latter way gives us more time and energy to focus on what we want instead of the obstacles. And it has a curious way of not generating many of the obstacles in the first place.

What do you expect?

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: We can tell what expect by how we feel. Feel good? We’re expecting to succeed. Feel bad? We are expecting what we don’t want.

 

Today’s photo credit: Judy Schmidt cc

open

Expect It to Go Well

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

If we expect that meeting or this interaction to go poorly, it will. If we are even concerned a bit, our results will fall short of what we desire…regardless of what we might do to achieve those results. If, on the other hand, we expect that things will go well and if we can remain curious instead of worrying about how things will happen, then things will go well.

This may sound odd or nonsensical. It won’t hurt to try it sometime this week anyway.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Justin cc

long time

How Long?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Who says it takes a lot of time? Where is it written that having what you want will take a long time?

Sure, you may point to your experience. It may tell you to expect that good things do not come quickly. If you expect it to take a long time, it probably will. What happens if you expect it won’t take a long time?

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

PS: When you read the word “expect” and feel even a slight pang of pain, you probably aren’t thinking of “expect.” You are thinking of “hope really hard and brace for disappointment.” “Expect” feels exciting.

Today’s photo credit: Robbert van der Steeg via photopin cc

Expect It – Refined

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

I am grateful to a reader of yesterday’s Note (“expect that what you want will arrive”) because she helped me refine my suggestion.  She noted that when she expects others to do things, for instance, she ends up disappointed, not happy.

Expectation failed, I suspect, because she focused on how something should be done (person X will do Y) and not on what ultimate results she wanted. Of course, we have all done this. Examples include

  • pushing for a raise (how) so that we can be less stressed (what) about money,
  • trying to get everything on our task list done (how) so that we can relax (what), and
  • hoping this winter ends (how) so that we can finally enjoy the weather (what).

When we focus on the “hows,” we add too many constraints and stresses. We become blind to the myriad of other opportunities and avenues that could deliver those desired results.

New suggestion: Expect your desired results (what) and be open to the many wonderful ways (hows) those results will show up.

 

In your corner,

Mike

Disappointment

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

When we experience a disappointment, we often tell ourselves stories to ease the blow. We may tell ourselves how the world is a struggle and how we aren’t lucky or deserving.

The problem with this, of course, is that we believe our stories.

That any avenue of exploration didn’t provide you what you wanted says nothing about your right and ability to have whatever. Not a tut.

Quietly expect what you want. Be curious about how it might show up. Allow feelings of excitement to creep in. And when you feel yourself clamping down for fear that it won’t come true, pause and think anew.

In short, tell yourself a better story.

In your corner,

Mike