Posted Leave a commentPosted in Leading
Reading time: 1

Destructive leadership rations energy. Productive leadership pumps energy into everyone freely.

To share so much, we first have to find and tap for ourselves a virtually unlimited source. And where will find such a source? It’s right here and it’s called appreciation.


In your corner,


Why We Don’t Fight

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Fighting what we don’t want (at home, work, or in the world-at-large) only pushes people to fight back. Our energy gets drained and our effectiveness is muted. It’s so easy to fall into this trap. But let’s not.

Let’s instead redirect the energy we would have spent fighting to building what we do want. People will then jump in and help. This way our energy multiplies and our effectiveness soars.


In your corner,


PS: Yes, this works everywhere, always.


Today’s photo credit: Peder Sterll Boxing gloves via photopin (license)

brick wall


Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1

It seems so easy to oppose. When we encounter a situation we don’t like, we just say no and we’re done.

The problem is that opposition is a terrible waste. Opposition pushes against and invites–or often causes–others to push back. Nothing much happens despite the effort. Even more energy is lost in the heat of the resulting frustration. Everybody loses.

The alternative to opposition is to uplift. When we encounter something we don’t like, let’s invest time and energy in the people advocating for it. They need something. Let’s seek to understand what it is, to have them understand what we need, and to negotiate a way we both can win.

If this alternative looks like too much work, remember the payoffs: progress, speed, partnership, and the energy gained from the good feelings all around. Everybody wins.


In your corner,



PS: Though I’ve seen it work in even the most contentious situations, win-win may not always be possible. Of course, we can’t know that an uplifting win-win isn’t possible if we don’t first commit to it and give it a go.

PPS: Yes, even politicians can uplift vs. oppose.


Today’s photo credit: pareeerica via photopin cc


Influencing One Way or The Other

Posted 2 CommentsPosted in Success, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

We all influence people to our point of view. How do you influence?

It turns out that there is an influencing spectrum.  On one end of the spectrum are people who influence (and want to be influenced) through fun, energy, excitement, emotion, and engagement. On the other end are people who influence (and want to be influenced) through logic. Your preferred way of influencing and being influenced will fall someplace on this scale.

Miscommunication, misunderstanding, and conflict happen when the energetic ones try to influence the logical ones or vice versa. We normally remain unaware that the underlying issue is this preference for logic or energy. We are susceptible to mislabeling the problem as a deeper and unfounded character flaw in the other.

When an energetic type engages a logical type, the logical person thinks, “There’s no way you can be that enthusiastic about this topic. I must conclude that you are trying to trick me. I will leave my guard up and remain aloof.” When a logical type engages an energetic type, the energetic type thinks, “Whoa! You are really cold. C’mon, how about a smile?! You must not like me. I’ll keep my guard up by getting even more enthusiastic.”

Of course, energetic and logical types can work together well by getting past this surface-level difference. Recognize that the logical types fear being snowed and the energetic types fear being rejected. And know that no type is right, wrong, better, or worse. Here are a few further suggestions:

  • If you are an energetic type and want to work with a logical type, start with the task-at-hand, pause before you speak, think about what you want to say before you speak, present your case logically, slow down, and calm down, even a little.
  • If you are a logical type, you can work well with energetic types by opening with a welcoming smile, continue with a friendly personal conversation (e.g.weather, weekend plans, health) before moving to the task-at-hand, ask what the other thinks (we energetic types often don’t know what we think until we’ve heard ourselves say it!), speed up, and pump up, even a little.


In your corner,


Today’s photo credit: whittaker_colin via photopin cc

To Lead a Great Life

Posted Leave a commentPosted in What=Compelling Focus, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

One way is to be what’s expected of you. That may mean playing small. Or it may mean striving to measure up or even to be better than.

Another way is to be more and more of what and who you are.

The former demands from you lots of energy,  focus, and endurance. The latter gives you all that.

Knowing you, you probably would prefer the latter. And you would appreciate knowing that the key to living this way is to trust. Trust that you matter, that it will work, that you have and add value, that you are fine, safe, welcomed, and loved.

In your corner,


PS: You do, it will, you do, and you are. Just saying.

Tell a Better Story than Disappointment and Blame

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

Disappointment in and blame of others is wasteful and untrue.

  • When you are disappointed in and blame others or life in general, you are telling the lie that others are responsible for your well-being.
  • When you are accepting/receiving disappointment and blame from someone, you are telling the lie that their happiness is up to you.
  • When you are disappointed at and blame yourself, you are telling the lie that you cannot possibly be in charge your own well-being.

Each of the above forms deflates your confidence and depletes the time, energy, and attention you would otherwise devote to having and enjoying what you want in business and life-at-large.

Instead of disappointment and blame, tell a better story. “I am in charge of my well-being. No matter what happens, I always can and will select my thoughts, opinions, and responses. Others are responsible for their own well being. When we recognize that we are in this same boat, it becomes exciting and rewarding to help each other.”

Much better, eh?


In your corner,


Your First Step

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Strategy, What=Compelling Focus
Reading time: 1

You can build a strategy–for yourself or your organization–out of fear. You can apply your intelligence, talent, and strength to defend against obvious or unspoken threats. If you find yourself (and your colleagues) struggling with questions of “How?” “When?” and “Who?” you are likely building a fear-based strategy.

The alternative is to build a strategy from who you are.  When you (and your colleagues) are considering questions like, “What is true now?” “What do we want to be true in the future?” and “Why?” you are creating from a deep well of energy, insights, and resources. Answering the “How?” “When?” and “Who?” questions then becomes easier.

Your first step is to choose which approach you will take. Either way will work. The fear-based approach will make (and lose) billions or trillions this year. The alternative method will, too. The one method costs dearly in personal and organizational energy. The other method is sustainable.

Your choice. Really.


In your corner,


PS: One good representation of who you (or your organization) are is your SweetSpot: where your talents and strengths, your passions and values, your needs-wants-desires, and the types of problems you like to solve all meet.