Exquisite Opportunities

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1

If we know that we have a habit of thought or behavior that no longer serves us, we can

  1. Ignore it. Honestly. We can just ignore it and keep on truckin’. Who says we have to change anything?
  2. Make excuses. “Oh, that’s just how I am,” is a good excuse. So are, “That’s the way life is” and “I am not strong enough.”
  3. Blame others or situations. “I’m this way because…” Classic, eh?
  4. Try to change. We can push ourselves to change, try hard to stay on track, and use misery, guilt, or punishment if we fall off.
  5. Commit. We can commit to replacing the old habit with one that works for us and gently hop back into our commitment as soon as we notice we have fallen off.

Options 1 through 4 are legit. They are exquisite learning opportunities. They help us know with certainty how useful Option 5 is.


In your corner,



PS: Of course, if you want to jump straight to Option 5, I won’t tell. Mums the word. Wink wink.

Today’s photo credit: floato via photopin cc

The We Lens and Win-Win

Posted Leave a commentPosted in We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

Success for you and your organization is simple using  The Four Lenses of Success: What, We, Can, and Do. Let’s explore the “We” lens.

Help on the Journey

You can never, never, ever create the success you want by yourself.  Though you absolutely get to call it your success, you always need help from those around you. The people who matter to your success may be clients, peers, bosses, investors, employees, friends, family members, vendors, politicians, or members of the press. Use the We lens to focus on and create win-win relationships with each of them.

About Win-Win

We’ll discuss the details of win-win in future posts. For now, here are some highlights.

  • Win-win is more than a quid pro quo. It is not, “I scratched your back so now you scratch mine.” It is not about tallying who has done which favors for whom.
  • It is a habit that starts with a commitment: “I am committed equally to your success and to mine.”
  • “Win-win” is short for “you win and I win otherwise we’ll choose not to play.” If we cannot come up with a solution that works for you and for me–if one of us would lose–we’ll stop.
  • As we’ll see in a future post, only one side need make the commitment to win-win for it to work.
  • Win-win also applies to situations involving multiple parties and complex topics.
  • There are many other names for win-win. “The Golden Rule” and “Give to Others What You Need Most” are two.

Where could you use more win-win? Look for places where you or someone who matters is losing.

Questions? Love to hear ’em and respond below.


To your continued success,


How to Build a New Habit

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 4 min.

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character…” –Stephen R. Covey

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

You’ve been there before, I’m sure; we all have.   You want to make some sort of change and can’t seem to make it stick.

Whether it’s your New Year’s Day resolutions, your promise to listen more, or your new time-management regime, replacing old habits with new ones is tough.  And it can be discouraging: how much energy do you have to start a new exercise program the day after you’ve declared the last program a flop?

Can you ever teach old dogs new tricks?

Why is it so difficult to break a habit and put a new, more constructive one in its place?

Two reasons:

  1. Habits, by design, resist change.  They are the original “set it and forget it” lifestyle aid.  And for good reason: habits keep you safe and sane.  You can appreciate how great it is that your habits resist change.  Without habits, you’d have to consciously think about everything.    Imagine what life would be like if you had to consciously think about everyday tasks such as walking, talking, driving a car, reading, typing, and remembering to say, “Please,” and “Thank You.”  All these habits made sense to you as you built them and they still serve a good purpose.
  2. The typical methods for changing habits have a fatal flaw: they try to fight the old habit with “will power.”  Will power is just no match for a nicely entrenched habit.  In his book, The Biology of Belief, Dr. Bruce Lipton says our habitual brain is more powerful than our conscious brain…more than a million times more powerful!   Your habits are going to win whenever you pick a fight with them.

Luckily, there is a method for building new habits that works. (more…)