Jellyfish or Jackhammer?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

We can act in response to what we think are other people’s judgments of us. (Yuck.) Or we can act according to what we want. (Lonely.)

Success at work happens when we do the later in service of other people, specifically other people whose problems and opportunities we find compelling.

Both. And.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Thomas Hawk Jack Hammering It via photopin (license)

No Rules Say We Have To Start There

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Most of us know the leverage of feeling good before getting into action. Feeling good makes everything flow so much better. But it is often difficult or impossible to feel good about a topic that is important to us. For example, most of us will find it hard to feel good about an upcoming encounter with a challenging colleague. Try as we might, it’s just too tough some days to find good-feeling thoughts about this. Luckily, we don’t have to.

There are no rules that say we must feel good about the topic-at-hand. Well, not immediately, at least. Intead of trying to feel good about our colleague and the upcoming conversation, we can achieve a great buzz level by starting with good-feeling thoughts about anything else. Puppies. Strawberries. The freshness of the air outside. Anything.

Once we reach a good-feeling place, we can return our attention to the topic-at-hand and much more easily find and benefit from good-feeling thoughts about it.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: brianarn Universe Closed via photopin (license)

The One Thing We Forget About Getting Stuff Done

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 2 min.

We spend much of our energy on getting everything done either by ourselves or through others. But there never seems to be enough time. So we stress and steam and push and plead to get everyone into action and producing.

But we regularly leave out one thing that would simplify things and speed the results we seek: trust.

When we trust that everything works out for us, that others are fundamentally good, and that we can handle anything that comes up, we pave the way. People gain confidence, we are not bogged down in stress, and results come shockingly quickly and well.

Most of us have seen how this trust works. But in the tension of the day and against the backdrop of the what the world generally believes, we forget. The sooner we remember that the key is, “believing is seeing”–not the other way around–the easier it will be.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: This version of trust means that we feel good about the desired results–as if they have already occurred–before they actually show up. If we feel bad, we aren’t trusting and will fall back into the slower, more stressful way: doing stuff to make things happen.

PPS: What does it look like to feel good before the results show up? It will be different for each person. To get started, try doing a ladder exercise with “how it is now” at the bottom of the ladder and the desired results at the top. Once you get to the feeling at the top, it will be very easy to see how to trust, feel good, and jump into inspired action.

PPPS: And it will become easy for others to pick up on your excitement and get inspired themselves.

PPPPS: Trust does not supplant action. As we trust, we will see the next best thing to do: make that call, write that note, work that spreadsheet. But we won’t be acting to feel better and cause a result. That’s so important.

 

Today’s photo credit: Ulf Bodin Uppsala, March 21, 2015 via photopin (license)

Dragon Slaying or Dragon Slaying Classes?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

We can work on ourselves until we are ready to slay dragons. Or we can go slay dragons and make dragon slaying our arena for working on ourselves.

The good news is both ways work.

The bad news is both ways can also be really good ways to chicken out. Fear can keep us out of the fray with the excuse we are not ready. We can use the excitement of the battles as an excuse to never look inside for fear of what we might find.

Ultimately, we want to be growing and succeeding, developing and in action. The way to strike this balance is to have a clear, compelling mission that is so important that we grow and act despite any fears.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Jeremiah Tran cc

Standard Stress Strategy Backfires

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

When we fall a bit behind in our work, we deploy our standard strategy: working a bit harder. But when we are feeling overwhelmed, our standard strategy backfires. We try to work harder but, under stress, we are so much less effective. Which makes us feel more overwhelmed, stressed, behind which leads to even crappier work which leads to …

No amount of activity can ever get us out of overwhelm. But feeling good–raising our buzz–will.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Nicolas Garcia
cc

start

All Change Demands Thought and Action Both

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Will=Our inner game
Reading time: 1 min.

Some of us are action junkies. Some of us are devotees of the Think System.

Yet whenever we want to make a change, we must do both the inside work (thoughts) and the outside work (actions). Thought without action leads to spinning. Action without thought leads to frustrating results.

So our thoughts about the future must be clear, compelling, and as complete as possible. And our actions must flow–inspired by that vision–without pushing or fearful delay.

Ready, steady, go.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: While we personally win by focusing on both thoughts and actions, teams that run on good-feeling, aligned vision and concerted, natural flows of activity benefit tremendously.

 

Today’s photo credit: tom_bullock via photopin cc

slow to speed

Why Telling ’em to Do Stuff Stops Working

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Leading, Sales and Influence, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 1 min.

We can tell people what to do (or ask them forcefully) and it can cause them to act or to change their behavior as we had wished. But it won’t work for very long.

People may go along with our demands, at first, because we are the authority and because they, like all of us, prefer being polite. Soon, though, people’s resistance will wear down their senses of duty and decorum. They may get aggressive, belligerent, or direct. They may passively ignore or minimally comply. Or they may check out or leave altogether.

Why? Because none of us wants to be told what to do. We just don’t like it and will resist it any way we can.

Despite the temptation to just tell ’em, it’s actually more effective and efficient to slow down and coach them through it (as here).

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: And, yes, this applies even when the other person clearly should know better and just do their job.

PPS: Go for win-win.

 

Today’s photo credit: Anna~Martin via photopin cc

simple

Why Real Success is Simple

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success
Reading time: 1 min.

We usually think success is a result. Whether it’s a goal, end, possession, status, or achievement, we call something a success only after we have it. And we work long and struggle hard to have it.

Real success precedes the result. It is that quietly confident state, approach, attitude, or way that leads to relatively small amounts of inspired action and plenty of results.

The work of real success is simple. It is mostly thought: a clear, compelling focus on what we want, a commitment to win-win with all who matter, and the habit of flipping our thoughts to think good-feeling thoughts. Action, when it happens, happens with ease and is a small part of the equation.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Alexander Steinhof via photopin cc

How to Help Another Get Into Action

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Do=Natural flow of action, We=All Who Matter
Reading time: 2 min.

If you notice that someone is stuck, avoid the temptation to tell them what to do or how to do it. You run a very good chance of creating more delay as they resist (as we all do) being told what to do.

Instead, help them get into action by noticing what’s going on and coaching them with some simple, direct questions.

  1. Notice. State what you see with as little judgment (in words and tone) as possible. “I notice you are stuck in this project.” Wait for their response. Allow them to correct your impression of what you are seeing.
  2. Permission. Get their permission before you proceed. “May I offer some help with that?” Stop if they say no (and most say yes).
  3. Result(s). Ask them to restate their desired results.”What would you like to be true at the end of this project? How will you know you’ve been successful?”
  4. Next step. Have them pick a next, specific, doable step. “Given your desired result(s), what do you suppose is your very next step?” If they say, “I don’t know,” try encouraging them, “I am sure you can come up with a very good answer.” Or ask, “If you did know, what would it be?” If they remain unable to see a next step, ask permission to share a suggestion. Stop if they say no. If they say yes, offer one possible next step that will help move them from where they are to having their desired results.
  5. Follow through. Very important: help them follow through. “By when will you complete this next step? Will you need any help? Would you like a simple check-in? Would you like help when it’s time for the next steps?”

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Yes, this works with family members (all types), too. 🙂