“Here’s what you need to do…”
People will resist our ideas and never change (or they might maliciously comply) when we start with us, our positions, and our reasons. People will listen to our ideas and (potentially) change their minds when we start with them.
Starting with them includes respecting them, their ideas, and their absolute authority over whether they change or not. We can then build a bridge from their opening mindset to an exploration of their desired outcomes and to the obstacles that block those desires. We finish with exploring ways for them to win those desired outcomes and for us to win ours.
This is another case of giving to get. We get people to listen by listening to them.
In your corner,