Don’t Be Realistic

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Negativity is important. Without it, we can’t know what we really want.

Our problem is that we stay focused on the negative long after it has been useful. Staying in negativity is also known as “being realistic,” and it feels bad. Being realistic gives us no time, energy, or bandwidth to take advantage of what we want as it comes along.

Not being realistic helps us create reality anew. And that, good leader, is why we’re here.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Lenny K Photography Coffee Toned Mountains via photopin (license)

We Can Always

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When faced with big or continuous obstacles, we can say,

  • “I can’t,”
  • “This is impossible,”
  • “That’s not the right process,”
  • “There’s something wrong with me/you/them/it,”
  • “Maybe someone else will figure it out.”
  • “It’s not my fault.”
  • “You can’t make me.”
  • “You gotta take the bull by the horns,”
  • “The early bird gets the worm,”
  • “I’m gonna blast through,” or
  • “I don’t know how, but I’m sure we can jump in, use the smarts we have, and get started. Things always work out when we do.”

Which feels best? Which–he asks knowingly–will bring consistently more success?

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: We. Can. Always.

 

Today’s photo credit: Emery_Way Zeus Launches via photopin (license)

Can Our Problems Ever Go Away?

Posted on Leave a commentPosted in Success, Uncategorized, What=Compelling Focus, Will=Our inner game
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Nope. We will always have problems.

But we can forever change how they affect us.

When we’re feeling good, plugged in, and buzzing high, problems still arise but we see them differently than before. They shift from being things to tolerate, solve, or fight to being  opportunities to make things even better.

It’s all in how we look at it.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

photo credit: judy dean Exit via photopin (license)j in

Practice

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Ever wonder what it will take for our ship to come in, for us to be finally more calm, for things to start working right, or for our work and our relationships to click? It won’t be some insight. Nor will it be something that someone else does for us. It is something only we can do: practice a new focus and attitude.

Our focus and attitude have a dramatic effect on results. Up to now, we practiced a focus and attitude that we thought would get results. That practice helped us build what we might call our winning ways. These ways got us here. But when we notice some desire remaining out of reach, that’s our sign to change our focus and attitude.

We are so used to our winning ways that a change in focus and attitude can be hard. To make such a change, we practice. Steady, regular, small (at first) practice of a buzz-raising focus and attitude will do the trick.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: What’s the new focus and attitude? Since most of us are extremely well practiced at a focus on what could go wrong and a fine attitude of judgment, we’d probably do very well to focus on positive expectations and an attitude of joy.

PPS: Yup; lots of practice needed. And it pays off handsomely.

 

Today’s photo credit:
pan optike
cc

Give Yourself These Important Gifts 

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Running around, overwhelmed, and (truth be told) only just keeping it together probably isn’t what we signed up for. But it is not necessary to be like this to be successful. We can be effective leaders (with or without title) and be mostly at ease.

Impossible, you say? But it is so!

We can become leaders at ease by giving ourselves the gifts of planning, presence, and persistence.

The gift of planning is dedicated daily and weekly time to gather all we could do and select what we will do. Instead of diving headlong and stressed into our days and weeks, we give ourselves the gift of clearing the decks and thinking through things.

The gift of presence is catching ourselves when we are regretting the past or worrying about the future and giving ourselves a deep breath and self-assurance that this will work out perfectly well.

The gift of persistence is simply committing to be this type of leader at ease. Here we give ourselves the discipline and focus we need to get good at planning and presence.

Yes; you have these gifts to give.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Like the well-mannered people we are, we will of course gratefully accept these gifts we give ourselves.
Today’s photo credit: Lorenzo cc

Feeling Justified?

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We might feel justified for thinking that we are small, low-power players who cannot possibly change the things we care about.

But we’d be wrong.

 

In your corner,

Mike

PS: Yes, this applies to you. Yes, today.

PPS: Hint: do not fight anything or anyone. Instead, love and lead by the example you want to see more of.

Todsy’s photo credit: JD Hancock The Anxious Type via photopin (license)

Why Getting Our Way Is Worse Than We Think

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We have generally two ways to get others to do what we want. We can use “get my way” methods or we can go for win-win.

Though we might not like to admit it, we all have our “get my way” methods. We use these mostly under stress and often without knowing it. Common ones include being angry, disappointed, authoritative, aloof, dismissive, ‘right,’ ‘better than,’ or pitiful. We use them because they worked for us in the (distant) past and because we assume that they are the fastest route.

The other way is win-win. Here we insist upon either finding a solution that works for us and them or choosing not to proceed. When we don’t go for win-win it’s because we think that asking them what they think takes too long. Asking them also exposes our ideas to critique and change.

Yet “get my way” only appears faster. And it doesn’t work–not for long, anyway. While the actual transaction may be quite short, “get my way” generates poorer short- and long-term results. How likely, after all, is someone to give us their all when they don’t get a win out of it? They will immediately see our self-orientation and start pulling away. When we use “get my way,” we erode trust and encourage at least reluctant compliance or, at most, rebellion.

Going for win-win works and keeps on working. They will see that engaging with us is pleasant and profitable. They will bring their all. Then they and we will want to sign up for that deal over and over. Merely “getting our way” pales in comparison.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Zaneology cc

What Power Is and Who Has It

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Power is presence. It is the ability to stand calmly in front of any obstacle and, without trying, have it ease or melt away. Anything else–wishing, pushing, guiting, tricking, attacking, criticizing, fighting, complaining–is mere force.

If we pause and look, we will see we all have the potential to be very powerful.

When you get this and help us get it, we can handle anything, good leader.

 

In your corner,

Mike

 

Today’s photo credit: Bronson ABbott cc